Monday, November 26, 2007

What could be more fun than...

...having my fingernails ripped out one at a time, followed by my toenails?** (DISCLAIMER: Please excuse any overuse of capital letters and exclamation points. I believe I have been poisoned.)

Unpacking boxes jammed with mothballs. I hate the things. They smell disgusting, are incredibly toxic, and did I mention the smell? The stench they produce is so strong, I swear it overpowers fresh skunk spray.

If I hate the things, why would I be unpacking boxes filled with them? I don't exactly know WHY. Some would say because "they" want to make sure the bugs are dead. I'm not exactly who "they" is, but that is why there are mothballs in the boxes. I opened the boxes yesterday. Since then I've had headaches, nausea, dizzy spells, etc. I have had no clue why. But perhaps, JUST MAYBE someone is trying to POISON me with MOTHBALLS. Mothballs in shoes, every stinkin' bag of shoes. All 10 of them. Mothballs buried in the bottom of boxes, mothballs hidden in folds of clothing, in shoes. in all of the damned shoes. Blasted shoes. Shoes that CANNOT be washed in the washer, so the smell CANNOT be rinsed out of them. SHOES made out of suede and leather. HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU GET MOTHBALL SCENT OUT OF COWBOY BOOTS?!

After spending an hour digging through all of the clothing, while trying to keep the baby from helping, (so as not to let him DIE from MOTHBALL POISONING), I think I finally got rid of the last one. I thought that once I had gotten rid of the things, that the smell would go away. Maybe the smell is just BURNED into my nose FOREVER. Maybe it has soaked into the carpet that the stinky mothball infested clothing was sitting on. All I know, is that the smell, it's still here. It hasn't gone away, and I have a headache, and I feel like throwing up again. Good thing I'm not pregnant. My fetus would be crying right now.

Just some things to consider in the future if you ever wanted to use mothballs:
1)MOTHBALLS ARE TOXIC. TOXIC means DEADLY to BABIES and PETS. Babies and pets who accidentally ingest mothballs, mistaking them for, oh, the candy they resemble, suffer from the following symptoms before DYING: eye, nose, throat irritation, respiratory problems, vertigo*, confusion, headache*, nausea*, vomiting, and/or fatigue*, convulsions, hemolytic anemia, and in long-term exposures, dementia and cancer. (* denotes symptoms I have had in the past 24 hours.)

2) MOTHBALL alternatives include: CEDAR, a natural pest repellent, smells nice. Is sold in balls, blocks and disks. Re-usable, and just as easy to use as mothballs. Leftover Soap slivers can also be used. They smell MUCH nicer and will repel pests just as well. Simply put them in a vented bag. Sachets full of things such as rosemary, lavender, lemon peel, and rose petals. They repel bugs as well, and smell very nice.

I swear that if I find ONE more mothball, I am going to find a way to get to where they originated and, well, I don't know what I'd do. But it might not be pretty. And then when that is over, I could commence to re-arranging some furniture, especially bedroom furniture. Please, for the love of GOD tell me that there are no more mothballs. I hate mothballs. Did I mention that I hate mothballs? I think the dementia is starting to kick in.


Not the momma said...

Not the Momma here! there were only four mothballs in the one box not counting the ones in the three bags of shoes. So that makes seven. in the second box there were two. so that means there were nine in total. I think you might have dementia... oh wait you had that before and you also had that phobia where you look up things on the internet and then think you have them. :)

Momma Mary said...

Each "mothball" was really TWO mothballs in a bag. So your nine is really 18. And, that smell? It's never going to come out of your shoes.

Vanessa said...

Oh, so did you want me to take the mothballs out of the baby clothes before I send them back to you?

Just kidding. I personall ylike the little cedar balls, we have them in my bins of "not pregnant" clothes. I say have, not because I am PG, but because I am too lazy to bring said bins down from the attic. Plus, I am too fat for most of it.