Friday, November 23, 2007

A real Time for Thanks!!!

Hello all it is me Not the Momma again. The DW informed me that I needed to tell you all what I was thankful for So...

There once was this guy, we will call him DH for now, who had this big meeting with his boss, and if you knew DH's profession you would know this was a big meeting. Well to prepare for this meeting DH took his Uniform over to the Dry Cleaners. A couple of days later, the morning of the meeting to be precise, DH returned to the cleaners to pick up his Uniform. He paid the clerk and when to his office space to change.

DH has the same routine, comes from a mundane job, of showing up 10min before he needs to be there. This gives DH just enough time to get dressed and make it to where he is going without waisting any valuable "DH" time.

So there DH was in the Head, the restroom in sea jargon, changing his clothes. DH hangs up his uniform fresh from the cleaner and removes the protective plastic bag they put on it. Then removes the uniform from the hangers and lays it out on the bench. First DH pulls off his Civies then adorns the uniform completing his transformation to his work persona. Except that day DH notices that his pants look a little smaller while holding them up. DH thinks to himself that this must be an illusion and commences donning the pants. DH soon learns that the pants not only look smaller but they are smaller... considerably smaller. Now you already know that the clock is ticking down from 10min. At this point DH starts to panic. DH has two options 1) try to explain to his 8 bosses, yes "I have eight bosses Bob", that his pants shrunk in the cleaners seeing that this is a pair he has never warn before, and try to reschedule with the big boss. or 2) wear the pants as is looking like he sprayed the pants on and he plans to trek through the a swamp, a reference to how high the pants road up.

Well being in partly the Work mode DH decides to suck it up and wear the pants chalking up the experience to ensure that he will always be early from now on... at least on days where important meetings are being conducted.

Now you are all probably wondering what this has to do with being thankful... Well you see DH took a big blow to his ego. His job has always said he was fat being 6'5" at 250lbs. This and the ribbing DH took from his peers really crushed him.

Then a few days later DH gets an email that says "DH my name is HD and I believe I have a pair of your pants". DH rushed home to check the name on his pants. And there it was as big as day a spelling of DH's name but spelled HD. DH realizes then that these are not his fat pants and he actually fit into pants two sizes smaller than what he normally wears. This was like a weight lifted off DH's shoulders. DH had thought those were his skiny pants from a time long lost.

So you see there is something for DH to be thankful for this Holiday season. Thats right DH does not have spend $'s on new pants.

Happy Thanksgiving from Not the Momma, DW and Kid


Finley said...

Not the momma, you really ought to start your own blog. You're funny.

glitterrs said...

i never knew men had fat pants. yes!!