Introducing...

...SCHMITTY!




Mommy Pie won by a landslide! I like the name Schmitty. Schmitty-- Welcome to the family. Now if only the state of California would get off their butts and send me your plates.

Honorable mention from Seeryus Mama. She submitted Velma the Van, which got second place in votes, and Mommy Machine, which won second place in my heart (even though it didn't get ANY votes). Other honerable mentions were Shark, Sally Ride (another of my favorites), Charlotte, Celeste, and Teal Bullet. Not the Momma is a bit upset because "Mini-Blue" didn't win. However, he didn't follow the rules and submit the name to me in the comments, nor did he vote as far as I know.

I have a feeling that Schmitty may end up with Multiple Personality disorder because she's going to be called by different names. I will always call her Schmitty, so long as she does her job in getting me places comfortably, and everything continues to work. If she starts to break down, then she shall be named "piece of crap." Little Monster has dubbed Schmitty "Ca-aaAAH?" some of the time, and at other times, some other word that comes out at such a pitch and decibel that only dogs and those sensitive underground missiles can understand. Not the Momma, will probably call Schmitty "mini-blue." Because he doesn't follow the rules of my blog.

I apologize that this took SO long to announce. I didn't want it to get lost in the madness of 300, or take away from the Happy Crappy Father's Day. Which, got better as the day wore on. Little Monster started behaving, and we quit having things fall apart on us.

Name it.

A bloggy friend,Seeryus Mama, has inspired me! She named her minivan "Virginia the Van."

So, I need you're help! We need to name OUR new vehicle. Our other car (a big dodge 2500) is named "The Big Blue Beast," or "Big Blue" for short.

Got any ideas?

I will close the contest on Friday. The day they detail the car so that it will be the cleanest it ever has been (and most likely ever will be - just ask my Dad). The picture at the bottom is the actual color.



Oh, what do you win? Bragging rights that you named some crazy lady's van. After all, which are you going to think is cooler?



"I won to Nobel prize because I invented the Internet. No wait, that was for global warming. Or because of a potatoe. Or was it tomatoe?"



OR



"I named Momma Mary's Minivan."



That's what I thought? Who wants to be associated with Al Gore, when you can be linked to this:

Gross.

Gross. I can't say that about minivans anymore. I think I own one.



Last night, I had a huge revelation about WHY I don't like minivans. Because I want to be YOUNG! and CAREFREE! and WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY! An SUV doesn't necessarily say "old" or "has kids" because you could just have dogs and like to hike and stuff.. But a Minivan. That says I'm an old person. Or someone with kids. And responsibility.



I'm not ready to be an old person. With kids. I'm <-this-> much closer to my midlife crisis. You know, because that isn't one of those things that you just happen upon. You take baby steps towards it until one day something little happens, and you just break. I'm a few steps closer to that breaking point. I still have a few years, but whatever.



But at any rate, Here's what it looks like:

It has everything. If there is a bell and whistle, we have it. Except the sunroof. And we made a good deal on the trade-in. We did good. I think. AND, I have written confirmation from my husband that he is NOT allowed to complain or whine (he was the one that pushed for the deal) about any part of it. So. All in all, I think at least I got a good deal out of it!

Never. NEVER. NEVAAAH!!!!!

I was all set to write a sad post about the fact that I can no longer see the Santa Cruz mountains. Because they are being burned down. But, today, I have a much sadder story (unless you actually live in the Santa Cruz mountains, then, I'm really sorry. Don't be mad that I'm comparing this to your situation).

Little Monster is getting bigger. He has now learned how much fun it is to throw things at us from the backseat. Yesterday Not the Momma nearly lost an eye to a shoe being hurled at speeds that, very possibly, would make Greg Maddux jealous. Today, it was books that nearly decapitated me. And cars. And milk. Since we're talking about sports, he's also destined to become either the best punter in football history, or he's going to live in Europe, being a record-holding soccer (sorry, 'football') player. He can kick our seats hard enough to give us whiplash. Both of us at the same time since he's in the middle.

This is a very sad day for me. Because, I must admit that I am looking at something I swore I would never look at. I swore that I would NEVER EVER over MY DEAD BODY, only if the ENEMY himself had allowed his home to freeze over, would I look at this abomination of a vehicle. I'm looking at a minivan.

I know. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Why would I want to look at a minivan? They've come a long way. The windows in the back roll down, like normal windows now! No more are they sealed shut, or puny little vents. Little Monster can sit in the backseat and is unable to reach the front seats. He can see out the window. (He doesn't like that he can't see much out the window in the car we have now.) They have ooooh so much storage. Built in DVD players (for LONG trips only!). In the one we were looking at -- there were two screens, one screen for each row of passengers. The seats fold flat, so I can still haul dogs. Get this, I could haul both dogs, four people, AND enough stuff to get by for three months in a minivan. In my car, I can haul, well, half that. And we move. A lot. Did I mention ALL OF THE ROOM??? AND STORAGE??? Oh, and they have memory settings for the drivers seat/peddle position, etc. So I wouldn't have to spend 10 minutes reconfiguring the car every time NTM drove it. What's that I hear? A choir of angels? Yeah. I thought so.

The downside to minivans: They're UUUUUUGLY on the outside. And, you look like a dork from the outside. I have an issue with the fact that many minivan drivers don't know HOW to drive (or their too busy dealing with the children in the backseat to drive. Maybe that's it!).

Then there's the issue of gas mileage. The precise reason why I refuse to buy an SUV (plus the ones that I would consider don't have NEARLY as much room and configuration options as the minivans did.) My car currently gets 30 mpg in the city.. and between 40 and 50 on the freeway (Depending on how heavy my foot is). Minivans, well, they don't get nearly that. So, maybe we'll wait until this 'fall' when Volkswagen is supposed to have their own minivan come out. Maybe they'll put the same diesel engine in that minivan that my Passat has.

I feel a little icky about this whole thing. Like I'm cheating on my car or something.

Some things I want to know if I do buy one of those abominations a minivan. Do I want swivel seats, or those that fold into the floor? If you have a minivan (and you haven't left because I basically just told you that I think you're a dork who can't drive), what do you like or dislike about it? Is it a beast to drive and park? I HATE driving around my husband's 2500RAM. If you corner like a race car driver (I tend to) do you feel like you're going to flip?

Help a woman out. I'm at a loss. The ones we looked at today were the Honda, the Dodge and the Chrysler. I didn't like the Honda after looking at the Dodge and Chrysler. We aren't in any hurry. We just want to know. You know?