Things I think about that you don't have to.

The other day a good friend and I were talking about different groups we've joined trying to get social interaction for both ourselves and our preschool children. She had joined a group that was designed specifically for mothers who have children who are too young to go to school. I'm not going to name names, but you should be able to figure it out. She mentioned that the specific group she joined touted their 'welcoming attitude' toward military families. Then, she mentioned how when she joined, she was surrounded by a bunch of ladies who had all grown up in the area, never moved, and hadn't been very friendly to her. They weren't mean, but they weren't friendly either.


I know -- why do you care? Well, because this is something that most people don't get about being a military family. We have almost an entire culture to ourselves, because of the differences in our lives that regular people don't have to put up with. So many things that most people don't put up with we do without blinking an eye, or even thinking about. Most of them, in fact, we don't even notice after a few years. Ever since having that conversation about how she got the cold shoulder, I've been thinking about how different our lives must be, and how we don't even notice until we are confronted with it.



So I'm going to try something. I'm going to start telling you the ways that my life is different than the 'average' citizen of the country. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure I will be adding to it as we go. I don't want anyone to think I'm whining or complaining -- I'm not. I accept all of the parts of military life as just that -- part of our lives. This is a topic I've tried to write about multiple times, but haven't ever posted because I didn't want anyone to think I'm a whiner. Well, I am, but I don't like to whine when it comes to aspects of military life. I married into it knowing all of the ups and downs that were going to come along with it.



To the other military spouses -- leave a post in the comments about the things you notice about your life being different than the civilians you live near and around. And if I can, I'll try to post about it. Non-Military spouses, ask questions -- what do you want to know?!

What is Common Courtesy?

We were lectured today on our way to Target about our lack of "common courtesy." We were in a left turn-only lane. Someone drove up to us in the "straight only" lane and asked if he could turn in front of us when the lane light changed. I looked at Daddy, and he said no. So, I politely mouthed "He said NO. Sorry!" to the guy.

We joked about how the guy was going to hunt us down in Target, being as it was pretty obvious we were going to the same place. We didn't actually expect this man to speed across several lanes of parking lot at around 30 miles per hour to get to us as we got out of our vehicle. We didn't expect a lecture about "common courtesy" in the Target parking lot. But guess, what. It all happened.

The dictionary.com definition of "courtesy" is as follows:

cour·te·sy (kûr'tĭ-sē)
n. pl. cour·te·sies
1.
a.Polite behavior.

b.A polite gesture or remark.

c.Consent or agreement in spite of fact; indulgence: They call this pond a lake by courtesy only.

d.Willingness or generosity in providing something needed: free advertising through the courtesy of the local newspaper.



So, I want to know -- should we have let the guy cut in front of us, violating traffic laws? Technically, what he expected follows the definition "d." Does "common courtesy" apply here? Should we have expected everyone behind us to wait to let this guy in front of us? And is it really following the laws of "common courtesy" to hunt down the people who think were rude to you just to tell them how rude they were? I mean, really? And what does common courtesy dictate about expecting people to be courteous? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of courtesy? Courtesy is something given that isn't expected. It's like yielding the right-of-way when you're driving. You are supposed to be the person doing the yielding, you're not supposed to expect others to yield and take the right-of-way, it's to be given - not taken?

I honestly think this guy was considering starting a fight with Daddy, but he hadn't expected Daddy to tower over his little white sports car like the Jolly Green Giant towers over his fields. As the guy was lecturing us, we politely explained that he obviously got there at around the same time as we did, so it didn't really matter. He didn't need to hunt us down. Perhaps maybe he should have had the "common courtesy" to follow the traffic laws and pay attention to where he was going, rather than expecting us to inconvenience everyone behind us who had paid attention and gotten into the lane they needed to be in to get where they were going.

I think perhaps people in New England ought to take the "Worst Drivers by State" study seriously and start learning to drive a teeny bit better. If you want to get technical, we have Nebraska plates and learned to drive in Nebraska. Nebraska which is 46 out of 50 in the worst states. Meaning, We are in the top ten states for the BEST drivers!

What do you think? Should we have let him through? Did we violate the laws of "common courtesy?" What should we have done?

Name Change?

So.... Everyone around here seems to think that Shortcake is not such a good nickname for our little baby girl. Not because she isn't a cute little shortcake that I want to eat up with strawberries and whipped cream. Who wouldn't want to eat this cute little morsel?

The problem lies in that when Little Monster tries to pronounce her name, it comes out sounding a lot more like "butterball" than her real name. So. Everyone thinks her blog name should be Butterball. I feel badly for the poor girl, because surely that's a nickname that is going to stick, making Junior High a million times worse than it already was destined to be. So. Tell me, what do you think? Should we rename Shortcake to Butterball??

Complainers.

****Update 10/27. The letter was published. Just delayed. For what reason, I don't know, but it was posted today.******

There are a lot of complainers in this world. They are really starting to get to me. Do you want to know why? The people who are complaining the loudest, are the people who have NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

Some people in my neighborhood have gotten upset, because they have been told to remove political signs from their front yards. It is in violation of the lease they signed when they moved into our neighborhood, AND it is in violation of the rules the service member is to follow. (Basically military personnel are not allowed to post political signs at their place of residence if they live in base housing -even privatized housing. Any political sign larger than a standard bumper sticker is not allowed in their personal vehicle either.)

Someone said that it wasn't THEIR choice to come to here. It wasn't her CHOICE to live in housing. I disagree. And I told the entire neighborhood exactly how I feel. I am tired of listening to the spoiled people in our neighborhood complain about every little thing that has gone wrong.

If you are married to the military, you are IN the military, whether you like it or not. You don't have a choice. This is what I put up on the boards. I don't care who reads it. I will stand by my opinion. You always have a choice. ALWAYS. This was my response to the "I didn't choose to come here" whine:


Get used to it. Your husband is in the military. You don't have a choice in most things anymore. You think you have a choice over where you are stationed, but really, it is in the hands of the detailers and where the service member is needed. There are lots of people who live for cheaper than we do out in Seaside and Marina. They get better internet, but, like Chris I'd bet they have a sex offender living within three blocks.
NO matter what, you really ALWAYS have a choice. You could have chosen NOT to move to Monterey when your husband was stationed here. You could have chosen to NOT marry someone who was in the military. You ALWAYS have a choice.

There are a lot of things that are unfair about this neighborhood. I can't put a screen door on my house, we're not allowed to put ceiling fans in upstairs, no political signs, etc. But I CHOOSE to put up with those inconveniences to know that my neighborhood is safe for my child. I CHOSE to live in housing because the community was better than anywhere else we could afford.

Perhaps we should all take a look at what we HAVE instead of what we don't have and can't have. We have beautiful homes with loving families inside. Our bellies are full and we get to sleep at night without worries. There is job security in the military that can't be found in the real world. Many of our husbands will retire and collect a pension that can't be guaranteed in the civilian world.

It was in the lease that you signed when you moved in that you cannot put up political signs. If you don't like it-- you have the choice to give your notice and move to a different neighborhood.

It seems to me that there is a lot of complaining about silly things going on in our neighborhood. I can't say I never complain, but then I take a look around. We have more than 80% of the people in the military, 90% of the people in this country, and 99% of the people in this world. Take a moment and thank God for all that you have been blessed with. This home, this duty station, this life, they're only temporary. YOU have the CHOICE to be happy with it, or you can be miserable.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to choose to be happy with the knowledge that my husband is most likely NOT going to have to deploy while we are here. I am going to be happy because he is home nearly every night in time for dinner, with no worries about being called back. He doesn't have to stand overnight duty, we can make birthday party plans without worries of something breaking, or some disaster happening. I can rest in the knowledge that my husband will be home for the birth of my child, to witness its first smiles, first laughs and first steps. I choose happiness.

Which choice are you going to make?

So. Tell me. Is there something that you're choosing to be miserable about? Maybe it's time to give up that negativity, and CHOOSE to be happy about something else.

P.S. Not the Momma. I'm sorry. I promise I will try not to post things like that in public again. I know how you feel about it.

P.P.S. After all the complaining in our neighborhood about our lack of "free speech" the moderator denied that post. Or at least, hasn't posted it yet. I have not gotten an email from them explaining that it will not be posted, etc. So much for free speech, eh?

Attention Bloggers!!

How many of you have every been solicited by email about writing a review on your blog? How do you recognize a scam? I'm especially suspicious because I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING in, well, forever. And there's a good reason for that. Not one I'm willing to get into right now.

But, hey, I'm willing to look at someone's website and write a review. Don't care. If they pay me, even better... But I'm not going to promote a commercial site like that for free...

So, yeah... Any advice is helpful!