Never. NEVER. NEVAAAH!!!!!

I was all set to write a sad post about the fact that I can no longer see the Santa Cruz mountains. Because they are being burned down. But, today, I have a much sadder story (unless you actually live in the Santa Cruz mountains, then, I'm really sorry. Don't be mad that I'm comparing this to your situation).

Little Monster is getting bigger. He has now learned how much fun it is to throw things at us from the backseat. Yesterday Not the Momma nearly lost an eye to a shoe being hurled at speeds that, very possibly, would make Greg Maddux jealous. Today, it was books that nearly decapitated me. And cars. And milk. Since we're talking about sports, he's also destined to become either the best punter in football history, or he's going to live in Europe, being a record-holding soccer (sorry, 'football') player. He can kick our seats hard enough to give us whiplash. Both of us at the same time since he's in the middle.

This is a very sad day for me. Because, I must admit that I am looking at something I swore I would never look at. I swore that I would NEVER EVER over MY DEAD BODY, only if the ENEMY himself had allowed his home to freeze over, would I look at this abomination of a vehicle. I'm looking at a minivan.

I know. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Why would I want to look at a minivan? They've come a long way. The windows in the back roll down, like normal windows now! No more are they sealed shut, or puny little vents. Little Monster can sit in the backseat and is unable to reach the front seats. He can see out the window. (He doesn't like that he can't see much out the window in the car we have now.) They have ooooh so much storage. Built in DVD players (for LONG trips only!). In the one we were looking at -- there were two screens, one screen for each row of passengers. The seats fold flat, so I can still haul dogs. Get this, I could haul both dogs, four people, AND enough stuff to get by for three months in a minivan. In my car, I can haul, well, half that. And we move. A lot. Did I mention ALL OF THE ROOM??? AND STORAGE??? Oh, and they have memory settings for the drivers seat/peddle position, etc. So I wouldn't have to spend 10 minutes reconfiguring the car every time NTM drove it. What's that I hear? A choir of angels? Yeah. I thought so.

The downside to minivans: They're UUUUUUGLY on the outside. And, you look like a dork from the outside. I have an issue with the fact that many minivan drivers don't know HOW to drive (or their too busy dealing with the children in the backseat to drive. Maybe that's it!).

Then there's the issue of gas mileage. The precise reason why I refuse to buy an SUV (plus the ones that I would consider don't have NEARLY as much room and configuration options as the minivans did.) My car currently gets 30 mpg in the city.. and between 40 and 50 on the freeway (Depending on how heavy my foot is). Minivans, well, they don't get nearly that. So, maybe we'll wait until this 'fall' when Volkswagen is supposed to have their own minivan come out. Maybe they'll put the same diesel engine in that minivan that my Passat has.

I feel a little icky about this whole thing. Like I'm cheating on my car or something.

Some things I want to know if I do buy one of those abominations a minivan. Do I want swivel seats, or those that fold into the floor? If you have a minivan (and you haven't left because I basically just told you that I think you're a dork who can't drive), what do you like or dislike about it? Is it a beast to drive and park? I HATE driving around my husband's 2500RAM. If you corner like a race car driver (I tend to) do you feel like you're going to flip?

Help a woman out. I'm at a loss. The ones we looked at today were the Honda, the Dodge and the Chrysler. I didn't like the Honda after looking at the Dodge and Chrysler. We aren't in any hurry. We just want to know. You know?