Annoying Mosquitoes

I'm not even talking about the wee vampirical bugs that like to steal my life force from my ankles and drive me batty with the itchy aftermath of their dinner...

I'm talking about this. Ring tones that only teens can hear. WHOO HOO! Teens can finally trick adults into believing they aren't on the phone!

There are a few flaws that perhaps teens might not notice. While your parents can't hear your new 'ring tone' they may perhaps notice one of the behaviors that generally follow a ring*: 1) checking to see who is calling. 2)answering the phone. It may be just me, but there's something about having that phone stuck to your ear and the conversation that just gives you away. We don't really believe that you are still 2 and pretending to carry on a conversation into a phone that we took the battery out of so you would quit stealing the working cell phone.

Apparently there are ring tones that us geezers can't hear. I was not so sure.. I mean, COME ON.. I'm no geezer. Then I went here. My hearing is good. I only went to a few rock concerts as a teenager, and of course I didn't listen to my Walkman at top volume constantly. I should be able to hear ALL of the tones, right?

I'm not quite sure what happened, but I couldn't hear anything below the top four rings. WHAT?! My mind went back to that time at that one concert where I accidentally licked some guys back and thought, it was surely that EdgeFest that brought me to my deaf state. Not the Momma was curled in a ball laughing because I was nearly in tears because I was so ear-old for my age.

Then I tried them again... I honestly heard them the second time around. Why in the world I didn't hear them the first time, I have no clue. But I really did hear them the second time. I'm serious. I did! As I tell Not the Momma. I tell the truth. The TRUTH does NOT require that you believe it for it to be TRUE! I heard them the second time around, which scares me a little more than if I'd never heard them. Was my brain turned off the first time? Was I listening SO hard, that I missed the tone? DO I HAVE A TUMOR THAT CAUSES ME TO ONLY HEAR HIGHER FREQUENCIES INTERMITTENTLY?? It's probably the third.

I imagine it's going to be some good times walking around hearing these high pitch sounds going off all over the place as kids try to 'hide' the fact that their phone is ringing from us stupid adults. Just one more thing for my geezerly wrinkled, technophobe (ha!) self to grumble about as I shake my cane** at "you dern kids!" at the mall.

All of this talk about Mosquitoes has made me incredibly itchy. And all this talk of me being old has me well, itchy as my husband would say... Only when he says Itchy, it means the same thing as that word with a B in front of it. Time for a walk to the park to play on the slides and push Little Monster on the swings? I think so.



*I know, I haven't addressed texting and all of the complexities that little gem of technology has bestowed upon us. But in order to maintain the illusion that I am NOT 80 years old, I'll just pretend texting doesn't exist. I'll address it some other day.

**That was originally misspelled to say "can." If I started shaking my can at kids for using that ring tone I might actually be doing a public service. It might actually scare teens away from using the ring tone. It's much easier to dodge a long skinny stick than MY OLD BUTT. Teens throughout the zip code would warn of that crazy old lady who wiggles her derriere at you if she hears your mosquito ring tone, forcing them to go back to their Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera tones. (wait, I just proved I'm old again, didn't I?)