Tuesday, March 11, 2008

My Day in Letters.

A is for AM. AM is too early these days.

B is for bananas, which Little Monster now refuses to eat more than one bite of.

C is for Closing the door on the nice neighbor lady’s face when she told me my dogs had escaped.

D is for DAMN DOGS.


F is for F*#&ING DOGS!!!!

G is for Great, as in how Great I looked with my tangled pony tail, dirty sweat suit, no bra wearing self as I ran around the neighborhood with my child who is still in his jammes. At noon. G is for Goldfish Crackers. Goldfish crackers that are covering the playroom floor. Goldfish Crackers that I will leave there hoping that when I’m not looking will ‘disappear.’ (Don’t worry. The crackers have only been there for a few minutes. Little Moster dumped them out just now. Nice, huh?)

H is for HOW IN THE HECK did the GATE get OPEN?

I is for Idiot. Which is what I feel like after slamming the door in my nice neighbors face.


K is for Kill. Which is what I want to do to the D, E, F, and G Dogs.

L is for Little Monster, who was a great help. He yelled for the dogs in the back seat of the car as I raced around the neighborhood honking my horn and yelling for Chewie Kleenexes

M is for Monday. Wait, Monday is over, right? Yes. So, then M can’t stand for Mondays anymore. M must be for “MORE.” Little Monster says “MORE” when he wants MORE kisses.


O is for Over. It is over. The dogs are home.

P is for Probably not going to get the house cleaned, the laundry done, or a shower today. Work is very busy. I’m talking 30 different designs in the works, and unlike normally, all of my clients are actually responsive.

Q is for Quick as Lightning. That’s how fast those DAMN ESCAPING F*#&ING JACK RUSSEL TERROR DOGS! Run.

R is for REALLY? As in, REALLY CHEWIE, you are going to TURN UP a CAR RIDE? And continue. Running. Down. The. Street?

S is the word I probably said, and for SLAM, which is what I did to the nice neighbor lady who was kind enough to tell me that my DEFGJN Dogs had run away.

T is for Time for LUNCH!

U is for Unfair. As in, how unfair it is that none of this crap happens when Not the Momma is home to help.

V is for VERY LUCKY. Which is what my dogs are. You see, after the chewed cable from yesterday (did I say something about Kleenex eating my wire from the satellite to the bedroom yesterday?), I fixed it with electrical tape. I no longer have to send her off to the home for naughty dogs. They are also VERY LUCKY that they listened when I told them to GET! INTO! THE! CAR!

W is for Wednesday. I wish it were Wednesday. Because then Tuesday would be over, and the house will be clean, and the laundry will be done. Because that was the goal for Tuesday.

X is for Xylophone. Yeah, I have no idea how X fits into my day. Well, maybe if I use X for Christ and say that he helped me to remain cool and collected (except for the curse words and the slamming of the doors, and the frantic driving around the neighborhood) while searching for the dogs.

Y is for Yet another crazy day.

Z is for ZZZZZZZ, as in. I want some more.


Don Mills Diva said...

Love it! I'm impressed with your creativity and your ability to remember the alphabet after a day like that!

Vanessa said...

X could be for eXtra something...
or xenogenous.. "due to an outside cause" you slammed the door in your nice neighboors face... or even better...
xanthippe.. what you were when the dogs ran away... an "ill-tempered woman".

words from
Hopefully that link works.

Sorry you are having a poopy day.

Christine said...

Wow. i thought I had a bad day. Thanks for making me feel wonderful. : ) Mine was so bad, made me wish my mother didn't read my blog. Cute a-z idea!

Ashlee said...

All those letters! What a yucky day! BUT...today is a new day and perhaps the dogs will REMAIN CALM! I know...they won't...I have a dumb dog too. A spastic dog that likes to chew up everything. I'd like to sell him, but the rest of the family just LOVES the dumb thing. I'd prefer the cash. :0)