Dear Internet Searchers,

I have done some research and found the answers to the questions you have been seeking. Seek no more!

• Many of you are searching for information about Bohn's Nodules and Epstein Pearls. Here is a picture of Bohn's Nodules. Here is some information about both Bohn's Nodules and Epstein's Pearls. Apparently, they are similar, but as with many things, location is everything. Neither is serious, or something to worry about. Seriously, your child is fine.


• Baby Hates Formula.... Yeah? Mine did too. Want to know what I did? Promise not to tell? You have to promise. Pinky Swear. Did you? Okay. Because this is serious stuff. People will threaten to hurt me when they read what I did. I (are you sure??) gave the baby whole milk. I wasn't satisfying the monster, I was ready to wean, he didn't want formula. Don't care what the doctor said, I wasn't going to 'starve' my baby until he decided to eat, I gave him whole milk. He drank it. And liked it. End of story. (This in no way shape or form is meant to be medical advice, or advice to NOT listen to your child's pediatrician.)


• How to wean baby at X months old (<--see what I did there? I typed X. With a KEY. I'll get over it eventually.) I gradually stopped nursing. Little Monster was eating more food, so I offered water with food at meals. I quit nursing him before his AM nap, then before his afternoon nap, then the post-PM nap nursing went away... then his first thing in the AM nursing went away. For a while, we did just before bed... and gradually.. OOOH SOOO GRADUALLY I weaned him from that. I have a lullaby CD that he sleeps to every night. I started nursing until he fell asleep, and every few nights or so, I'd stop nursing a little earlier.. The first time I shortened it to 4 songs.. After 2 or 3 successful nights, it was 3 songs.. and so on, until he didn't even notice. :) It worked. Mostly. There were a few kinks, but he's normal and happy and healthy despite them all. (At least we think he is.)


• I want to start break dancing. Yeah? Me too. Problem is the type of 'break dancing' I would be doing, would probably send me to the hospital, and would only qualify as break dancing because I'd be breaking things. And hopefully by 'things' I wouldn't mean bones.


• Mothballs -- what are they good for? Absolutely nothing. Except stinking. And being nasty. and toxic. I don't think you're harming your fetus (but again, I'm not a doctor, and have NO idea!) if you accidentally smell your grandma's mothball saturated attic for a few minutes, but like all toxic substances -- probably shouldn't be around them if you're pregnant. DEFINITELY do NOT let your small babies around them. I'd give Poison Control a call (1-800-222-1222) if you think that your child has ingested one. Or, 911. Or maybe take a short visit to the ER?


• Why we're ALL going grey: it's our kids' fault. I swear. image borrowed from http://firstpartners.net/blog/category/technology/uncategorized/
• What happened to Scrubs/JD's Baby? Um. I dunno? I think I heard that they were going to have a new episode on Thursday. Don't kill me if I'm wrong. As for what happened to JD's Baby, that's why we're waiting for the new episodes.
• How many Calories are in a Lindor Chocolate, Ghirardelli Chocolate, etc. etc. It's good Chocolate. It doesn't count. Just don't eat the ENTIRE basket at once. G was right. I really SHOULDN'T have calculated all of that. But I still have a little left. and it is STILL good! But if you really want to know the calorie value, I'd try this place. Or better yet, read the package? Or go to the company's website? Just a thought here.
• I-GO accessories -- You don't want them. Just deal with the multiple cords and adapters and get over it. This is an overpriced waste of money -- no matter HOW hard they try to tell you that it's 'convenient.' It isn't. Their tips break. Period.
• Baby Temper Tantrums come a LOT earlier than you'd expect. I say, we'd better hunker down and get used to them, because they probably aren't going anywhere... Except they soon won't be BABY temper tantrums, but KID temper tantrums, so WATCH OUT!
  

AND the BEST! SEARCH! EVER! TO HAVE FOUND MY BLOG:

Someone in Kuwait wants to know "How to be a good wife to an irritating husband." That, my friends, is something all women want to know. Seriously I'm joking about that. I don't know what it's like to have an irritating husband. (He's always been underway until recently.) Right about now, Not the Momma is thinking that they got the words husband and wife transposed in that sentence, as I jab him with my pokey elbows for the 40 billionth time to read him this blog to make sure it isn't too stupid. In all seriousness, if something about your husband is irritating you, have a calm talk with him about it when neither of you is upset. Try not to use words like "you always" or "you never," instead use words like "I feel ----, when," etc. It works sometimes.

What fun searches will find my blog next? Who knows? I have a feeling that since I have my X back, the searches could get eXtremely funny... Or, the same searches could continue to find me... Maybe YOU could be the neXt person to find my blog with a crazy search string (Do I see a contest coming on? Oh yeah Baby!)