Thursday, April 03, 2008

My X is gone.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Isn't that how all terrible stories start? Like the one I'm about to tell you. Be warned.. for those of you, like me, that have lurid affairs with their computers and blogging... This may cause nightmares.

I'm warning you. It is terrible!

Well, if you insist upon reading, I can't stop you.

After putting Little Monster down for a nap, I checked my email. I noticed a dog hair (stupid dogs) between the keys of my laptop. So I got out the air can. Reasonable? Yes. As I was blowing and blowing and blowing trying to get the damn sticky dog hair from between my keys, I saw it. There was a RAT living in my keyboard!!

Okay, so it wasn't really a rat. It was a bunny. Actually a lot of them. There were dust bunnies under my keys. The air can was just blowing them around though. they weren't coming out. That, is when I had the best. idea. ever.

If having two rambunctious dogs and a crazy monster of a toddler has taught me anything, it is how to reattach keys onto laptops. So, what the hey. I know how to do it without damaging the laptop. No big deal. Right? (Here is where it begins to get scary folks!)

So. I took my keys off. I felt a little sick looking at my laptop all naked and vulnerable like that. I only took off the letters. So I got the air can out again and started blowing the dust bunnies out. Only they were sticking. If only I had something that would SUCK the dust bunnies and dog hair out of my keyboard.

I remember this one time my mom made me use this thing that cleaned stuff. It was called a.... Vaccum. That's it. After an hour of digging in the closet (do we own a vaccuum?), I found it! It even has attachments! I got out the brushy attachment and started sucking away. Yeah! Guess what. Clean laptop.

I began putting the keys back on. That's when I noticed something else. The bottom row seemed a bit, well, short. Hmm, it's a short row anyway.

After putting the top two rows on compltely, I realized that the bottom row did look a little short. I thought I was missing something so I thought out the bottom row. Z, X, C, V. WAIT! Again. Z. X. C. V. WHERE IS THE X? THE X IS MISSING!

Folks, My X is gone. I am missing my X. Gone forever. Not the Momma helped me look. The conversation was quite funny:

Me: I lost my X

NTM: You lost your What?

Me: My X. For my keyboard.

*we looked and looked and looked for missing X.*

Me: It's okay. I don't need an X

NTM: Yes you do. You need X.

Me: Nah, I'm a girl. We don't need the X. Only Men need X.

NTM: What are you going to tell Little Monster?

Me: That X is bad, and I'll tell him about the costs of playing with X.

It went downhill from there.

So, now I sit here. X-less. Not the Momma half joking suggested that perhaps I did it to get a new laptop. No. I don't want a new laptop complete with Microsoft Vista POS. (note. Piece OF S***, not Operating System). I want my old laptop. Even if it is missing an X.

**Update **
the have old refurbished laptop keboards. So, for just a few dollars (and then quite a few more for speedy delivery), I will soon have my X back. Nice to know, huh? Just because you lose your X doesn't mean it's gone for good!


Christine said...

Hilarious! Oh, sorry...I'm supposed to be pining for the X.

Vanessa said...

Did you look in that vacuum thing you got out of the closet? They like things like that.

glitterrs said...

maybe it's in the dryer with the socks