Dear Not the Momma,

Do you remember Slumber Parties? Probably not. You're a boy. When you were a boy you had 'camp outs' where you threw rocks at each other until you were all knocked unconscious. That doesn't really count as a 'slumber party. When I was a kid, we had real slumber parties. Parties with tons of giggling girls in sleeping bags. We'd put on makeup and watch silly movies and giggle until the wee hours of the morning, until we were tired enough to fall asleep. There was always one girl, though, who was very annoying. When I was a kid I was *gasp* the annoying girl. The one who simply could. not. shut. up. That isn't too big of a deal, until everyone is really tired, and you're laying there trying to sleep. And that girl. She can't stop talking. Not even for one minute. Yeah, that was me.

After spending so much time away from you, I forgot how nice it is to go to sleep with someone. Snuggled closely under warm covers. I forgot about those nice conversations you have just before you fall asleep. Unfortunately, I've reverted back to my childhood days and cannot shut up. This is a problem for you because you actually have to be to work at a specific time in the morning. I, on the other hand, show up to work whenever Little Monster wakes up.

Our days are so busy that we don't get a lot of actual 'talking' in sometimes. You go to work, and I'm at home working. Working on housework, talking to clients and working with my "real job". I run the errands and take care of Little Monster. Then, when you come home, our evenings are pretty full. We try to fit in a family walk or bike ride, dinner comes, then it's bath and bed time for Little Monster. After bath time, you work on your homework and I generally, play around on the internets finish up whatever "real job" stuff I didn't get done during the day. By the time we're done with that, it's generally 10pm, and time for bed. That doesn't leave much time for real talking. So, when it's 11pm, and I'm still yammering on, remember that it's because I love you. We have a few years of pillow talk to catch up on. Y'know?

I guess I'm still that little girl who just can't shut up. You knew I had verbal dysentery (as my mother calls it) when you married me, so you are stuck with it. I know you love me anyway. I'll try to fall asleep, but remember that whole boy/girl difference thing? You can fall asleep in about 30 seconds. I, however, take a few (read: between 30 and 90) minutes. So, humor me every once in a while and just train yourself to grunt whenever I finish a sentence. That way I can talk until I fall asleep and you can sleep while I talk. Will that work? That's what I thought. Fine, then. NO more Frappuccino's in the afternoons!

Love,

Momma Mary