Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Why people like us shouldn't be allowed to own dogs:

Our dogs aren't perfect. In fact, sometimes they're downright rotten. The girl dog has been known to leave packages in the house from time to time, and so has the boy dog, albeit less often. Until tonight, it had been awhile since either one had misbehaved like that. Until. Tonight.

I was getting the baby ready for his bath, undressing him, etc. I usually undress him, get the water running while he chases Not the Momma, threatening to shoot him with his "fire hose." I walked into the bathroom, and stepped in it. Barefoot. It was a big pile of dog doo. A Giant pile of dog doo. A pile that looked like it had been left by a Great Dane rather than one of my 20 pound terriers. I immediately started yelling. Both dogs looked equally guilty. Not the Momma came out and took the dogs out to their kennels in the garage for a time-out, while he yelled at them too. Meanwhile, I'm gagging, trying to clean it up. After about 10 minutes of this, I notice it's tracked all over the upstairs. The upstairs I just spent the entire evening cleaning. The baby was oblivious to Not the Momma's and my frantic cleaning spree...

... apparently, we were oblivious to something else. After Little monster played peekaboo with me... IN MY CLOSET... IN MY CLEAN CLOTHES, he ran out of the room and into his bedroom. That was when I noticed it. The streak running down the back of his leg and on his foot. There was dog doo ALL OVER THE BABY. HE HAD been PLAYING in the DOG DOO.... Immediately I freaked out and started cleaning him off. While I was cleaning I noticed something. The dog doo that was all over him... Seemed to have come FROM him...

wait... that means.....

THAT GIANT GREAT DANE TURD IN THE BATHROOM CAME FROM LITTLE MONSTER! And now the dogs were being punished for it. Oh lord. We got the baby in the tub, and I went down and made up with the dogs, giving them their favorite treat.. Greenies (don't tell me how I'm killing my dog either, because they've eaten millions of them and have been fine every time). Not the Momma wondered why the Girl Dog, who normally sulks and rolls over into the submissive position whenever she's in trouble, came over to him wagging her tail and licking him after the whole ordeal... The Boy Dog... Well, he looks guilty every time anyone gets in trouble, so that explains his behavior...

We are the WORST. DOG PARENTS. EVER. Yes. Ever. But they don't seem to know. And Little Monster? No more dried apples for him. ;)

2 comments:

Melissa P. said...

That is hilarious...I was sitting here screaming NOOOO when you said Little Monster had dog doo on him...but then after you said what it really was it was hilarious...sorry you stepped in it too LOL sorry but I just can't stop laughing

Vanessa said...

Ahh.. yeah, my niece isn't allowed to have raisins, and my nephew tends to have poopsidents if he has more than 2 cups of juice in a day. Let me say I am SOOO excited for the day I get to deal with poo in places it isn't supposed to be. Oh yeah.