Today's Prayer

Thank you Lord for my son, who is healthy and alive. Thank You for giving me the good sense to keep from selling him on eBay, shipping him in his favorite light box to grandmas and grandpas or getting rid of him an any other less savory ways.

Father thank You for the proof that he is normally healthy and regular in every way. Thank You for that poop proof being all over my couch. The poop proof that indeed a washcloth and bottle of upholstery cleaner will run away when shown a mess that they are not prepared, nor qualified to handle.

Father, now I pray that as the cushion covers of my couch enter the washer and dryer, that they will remain the proper size and will fit back over the cushions again without words escaping my mouth that would cause me to be fined by the FCC should I say them on television. Father, I pray that when Little Monster's "boo-bots" finally arrive (as You know, he's been warning of their arrival for months now), that they are cleaning robots. Robots that will clean my kitchen floor and remove poop proof of dirty children who refuse diaper changes exist from couch cushions without shrinking them.

Father, I thank You for my children. For without them, I would have nothing to blog about today, nor would I have anything to laugh about in twenty years (or perhaps later tonight) as I recount this episode for Not the Momma and anyone else who isn't afraid of a little poop.

Amen.

P.S. This entry is not in any way intended to offend anyone or mock prayer. This is a real prayer. I did a lot of serious praying as I removed couch cushion covers that were covered in very sticky green poop that the upholstery cleaner would not touch. Not even with a thirty foot pole. I am glad that the Lord decided to have a laugh on my behalf today. After all, that means He's still there and still watching and loving me. And that He has a sense of humor.