Not Me Monday

I did not assume that when Not the Momma shut the van door it meant that our child was secure in his seat only to realize 10 miles down the freeway in San Jose that Little Monster was actually loose.

I did not sunburn my leg in a weird pattern because the sunblock spray missed a spot. Not in Central CA, I didn't. It hasn't been sunny and 80+ for two days. I am not going to cry when the weather returns to normal on Wednesday.

I did not spray my child with a hose until he fell out of the wading pool face first into the grass. I'm a good mommy. I would never do that.

I have not nearly broken down crying three out of four nights because by the end of the day I'm so tired and so sore and so done being pregnant that I don't know what to do with myself. I don't look at my bed and think about how it's one more mountain to climb just to get in.

I have not (I really haven't) thoroughly thanked my husband for putting up with my junk lately.

I did NOT laugh at three fourths of the things that have come out of Little Monster's mouth lately, including the fear of the fish pattern at the bottom of his wading pool. And also the imaginary frog that lives in it.

I did NOT nearly cry when driving by the San Jose airport, Little Monster announced that Grandma and Grandpa were coming on a blue airplane. And I still don't tear up when he announces that every after noon and follows up his statement with "baby come first and we go night night and the sun comes up."

I am not going to end this here because I've run out of things to say and I realize that I need to go to the bathroom for the fortieth time today and that it is 80+ degrees outside and I'm inside like a fool. Nope. Not me. Wait. Yes I am.