Monday, April 06, 2009

Not Me Monday.

Warning: This post contains talk of poop. Lots of talk of poop.

I did not skip an entire week of posting for no good reason. Nope, not me!

I did not skip church this week because my two year old insisted on going poop at home. He did not begin whining about it at breakfast and continue it while we ate our entire meals. I did not chuckle a little when his face turned red and his head got sweaty while the whines got worse. I did not tease him in the car on the way home and suggest that we go all sorts of places including Church, the beach, and to get ice cream. I did not nearly die laughing when he answer to each one of those questions was "NO!!!! MOMMY! I go home!!!" I did not laugh when we left the restaurant and he was obviously walking with clenched butt cheeks. Then, I didn't almost cry when nearly two hours after this episode began, LM pooped on the potty for the first time ever. (In all seriousness, I've been delaying potty training because of the new baby coming.) I did NOT for about 30 seconds consider taking a picture of the toilet with LM flushing to commemorate the moment. We did not laugh when LM started freaking out about what color the stop lights were and would yell "Stop! Red! Green! GOOOOO!!!!" on the way home. Nor did we laugh when he announced "Stop Mommy!!! I walk home!" when we were about 6 miles away.*

We did not go to Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream on Saturday at 5:00. And then decide that was good enough to be considered dinner.

We did not watch the movie Bolt 3,000 times while it was rented only to return it to Blockbuster and on the way home stop and buy the movie.

We did not spend our entire Sunday Afternoon outside in the backyard watching Little Monster dig in the dirt, bark at the neighbors walking by with the dogs, kick his soccer ball, and play on his slide. We also didn't feed him a cheese stick and ice cream for lunch because it was too nice outside to bother with real food.

We didn't laugh at LM when we gave him some sparkling apple juice and after drinking it, he said "it hurts!" only to continue drinking it. He drank the entire bottle, saying "it hurts" after every sip.

I did not nearly peg a bird with a rock after it has spent the past few weeks scratching and pooping on the rear view mirrors of our truck only to start scratching and pecking at the back window when we covered the mirrors with bags.

We did not witness a gopher pop out of its hole and eat some weeds.

After not witnessing the gopher, I most certainly did not let my dog dig in the hole after it to keep it from getting any closer to our backyard. The dogs did not thoroughly enjoy being allowed to dig and hunt to their hearts content.

I most certainly am not writing this to appease my husband who has been complaining all week about the lack of blogging. You're not welcome baby.

*I did take him to the bathroom in the restaurant, but it was busy, and he hasn't shown much interest in potty training before. His diaper was clean, so we returned to the table. We really aren't mean parents who were just laughing at our child. Sort of.


Vanessa said...

Freaking hilarious. Poor, cute, funny James.

Ashlee said...

Clenching butt cheeks.....hilarious!