How my 2 year old nearly induced labor through laughter...

Situation One:

I am sitting in my rocker, talking to and playing with Little Monster while
talking to my mom on the phone. He picks up his toy saw and plays with it
for a while. He then walks up to me and starts attempting to saw my
stomach open.

Me: That hurts! Don't saw Mommy's tummy, it's tender!

LM: No Mommy! I making baby!

Situation Two:

LM: Mommy! Daddy Lock Door!

Me: Yeah, that's because he's going to the bathroom and he doesn't want you
to bug him.

LM: No, Mommy! I bug him!

Me: Well, you can bug him on the other side of the door then.

LM walks away and heads back for the bathroom door. Knocking
ensues.

LM: Daddy! Door Open! Unlock and Open Door.
O-TAAAAAAYYYYY!!!???!!!

NTM: No, I'm busy.

LM: No Daddy. Open Door.

NTM: I'm reading.

LM: No Daddy. Open Door. Unlock Door. Open Door. Okay?

(more knocking)

LM: I knocking! Who's there?!?

NTM: Go bug mommy. She wants you to bug her. She lives for
that.

LM: No Daddy. I bugging you! Open Door! I talking you!
Oooh-taaaay!!??!!!

This went on for quite some time while I laughed uncontrollably in the other room until I believed I started having contractions.