You haven't lived until...

You spend over thirty minutes looking in your two-year-old's nose with a flashlight, trying to determine if that thing you see is a booger or a goldfish cracker. You then call your mother, who is an EMT to determine if it's safe to let said booger or goldfish cracker naturally find it's way out since it is jammed past the soft part of the nose thanks to teeny fingers being jammed 3/4 of the way up there (and probably a nose sucker and a Qtip and my finger -- only you're trying to get the thing out, rather than lodging it in there). When she doesn't answer, you try to call your husband who is working late to see what his perspective is, since it is probable that because you are pregnant and a bit hormonal that perhaps you're over reacting. After getting dressed (at 5:30PM) and contemplating taking a shower before driving your kid to the ER to have booger/cracker removed, you decide to chase the child around the house with a Kleenex in an attempt to get him to blow his nose. The only problem is the kid hasn't been sick enough to KNOW how to blow his nose properly. He sucks in, bringing the cracker up further. Your mom calls back and determines that since goldfish crackers dissolve a bit, you can wait and see what happens. Just in time for the kid to sneeze and launch snotty, soggy goldfish cracker chunks all over your clean bed.

I hadn't lived until yesterday folks. If I die tomorrow, I know my life will be complete. That is, until I decide to give Little Monster raisins for snack.