It won't be Christmas...

Not the Momma and I have discussed at length what ages we had our first real memories. Little Monster is quickly approaching that age, so at Christmas this year, I wondered as we came downstairs and he noticed that Santa had visited, as we opened gifts, visited Church, had family time and then friends over if he would remember any of it.

I've now come to the conclusion that Christmas will not be his first memory. That would be too nice. His first memories will probably be one of the following:

• Me opening a Hershey's kiss in front of him and denying him the chocolate, even after opening his mouth and saying "aaaah" like a baby bird.
• One of the multiple times we've groped him to check his new 'big boy' pants for wetness while harassing him about whether or not he needs to go potty.

If it has to be one of those mean memories, I hope for the first. The second one I hope he can repress until after years of therapy. The whole potty training thing. I'm not sure if it's a good sign that for the past 3 hours, even through dinner and 2 cups of apple juice, wrestling and Daddy torture, tickling and giggling uncontrollably that the child is still dry. We have put him on the toilet at least 6 times in attempts to get him to go. He sits there looking at magazines, kicking his feet, talking and singing the whole time with nary a trickle. Will he remain dry until he explodes? Is he biding his time until we put a diaper back on him? What are parents to do?

***Update*** Apparently, 3 1/2 hours is the amount of time that a 2 year old can control the contents of his bladder before he has to empty it on the carpet.