Time for Cry It Out?

I am a terrible, weak, soft-hearted mom. When I see that face, how can I possibly let him cry himself to sleep? Well. He is now six months old, and I said a few months ago that if he wasn't going to sleep like a good little boy by now, he would have to start trying this. Tonight wasn't terrible. At least not yet. He cried for 15 minutes, I went in, talked to him, turned his aquarium back on, told him I loved him, gave him a kiss and left again. That was worse than leaving him alone. He started screaming even harder. He fell asleep after about another 10 minutes or so. I checked on him about 20 minutes later. I wanted to cover him with a blanket, because it tends to get cool in the basement. So, I checked on him. He was lying sideways in his crib (his long body was the short length) with his head buried in the mattress and jammed into the bumper pads... So.. I took a chance and picked him up and laid him in a more comfortable and less "dangerous" position... He didn't wake up, just whimpered a little and fell back to sleep. Finding him like that was terrifying for me. We as moms and dads are threatened with SIDS and the whole "back to sleep" campaign and "your baby will suffocate if" advice (which includes putting your baby to sleep on his tummy AND installing bumpers in the crib). So now I'm left to cry-it-out myself. He is done crying and he's safe and sound, so it's my turn. I get to cry because I nearly killed my baby (no I don't actually think that). And eventually I will get over it. Eventually I will put him in his crib, and he will say to himself. Oh, this means its bedtime and just go to sleep... right? right??



His six month birthday also means that I have met my breastfeeding goal. My goal was to get through six months. We have done that, and I'm sure we'll beat that goal. Especially considering I haven't REALLY started weaning him yet. I have introduced some veggies and some not so wholesome solids (twizzlers anyone?), but I don't really know when it would be appropriate. I am sure he still needs to suck on something. Babies love to suck. And even after all of the trouble we had when we first started, now he's addicted. So addicted he refuses to take a pacifier or a bottle. Ever. So, what do I do? I continue to nurse. Albeit, a little less on his demand than it used to be. Perhaps he'll self-wean by 9 months or so? I can always hope, right? At any rate the solids have become "mealtimes" for him and get gets rather cranky when he doesn't get his.

The most amazing thing that has happened in the past month is that he has truly become mobile. Yes, he has been able to do some "angry" backwards creeping for sometime, however now he's a pro at rotating, rolling and he has started to do a "butt scoot" thing. Before I know it I am going to really have to baby-proof this place. Computer wires up, plugs covered and stairs blocked. Hmm... Today he almost pulled himself to standing when we were getting him ready for his bath. I had him sitting on the bath rug while I got the water running. I looked down because I felt him grab me. He was kneeling holding on to my shorts with one hand and the tub with the other.. The next second he was in the "proposal" stance on one knee. So.. Pretty soon I am expected bonked noggin's and skinned knees.. how fast do they grow? *tear*
Our life has been incredibly busy lately, yet I am having a hard time remembering what exactly with. One day a week we go to swimming lessons for 1/2 hour. I have my Pilate's class two to three times per week for an hour, while he goes to "play" with the other kids at the gym daycare. My sister is getting married in a few weeks, so there have been bridal showers, dress fittings (mine is tomorrow... yuck), and preparations. We went camping this weekend at Indian Caves State Park. I hadn't ever been there, and probably won't go again so early in the year. Let's just say that three dogs during the height of tick season is probably a bad idea.. I'm still itchy and crawly from all the things that were all over the dogs, the people and yes, I even found one on the baby. However, we benefited from our 8 mile hike lugging baby, stroller, etc. on the trails.. (that's probably not going to happen again anytime soon either. ) The next few weeks prove to continue the busy trend. Wedding plans continue (dress fittings, tanning?, preparations). My dear dear husband will also be home for an entire 6 days during which we have to cram in as much quality time as possible between two full days of wedding stuff, and the obligatory family time. I can't wait for him to be home.. For one glorious week I will be almost "normal" again. I won't be stuck in that twilight zone of "Married with children, but husband is gone so I don't fit in with the married couple crowd, sort-of a single mom, but not single because I'm not out looking for a guy, etc." Only seven and a half more months and I can forget that that zone exists.... at least for a few beautiful heaven-sent years...