Okay, so perhaps a little bit inspired by this post. Normally, I wouldn't link to her, because she's all famous and stuff, and I'm soooo not famous, so it isn't like my linking to her is going to help her traffic. But, you need the background story. But I thought this was a particularly funny post. And I was reading it to Not the Momma... and he said:
NTM: Wow. That sounds like us. Only You're the Jon.
Me: What, you mean because your parents think Jesus sent me?
NTM: Yeah
Me: Jesus did send me to you.
pause
NTM: Jesus hates me.
He has a way of making me feel special sometimes. Yeah, as special as the dog turd that's stuck in the bottom of Little Monster's shoe, getting squashed all over the driveway. That's the kind of special I am. Yeah. I guess it's better than the special that gets finger quotes, special. Maybe. I'm still not sure.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I'm still shaking...
You see, I am not a law-breaker. I haven't been pulled over in... in.... in...
hmmm. How long has it been since I've been pulled over. There was the time when I was with all my friends and I got pulled over for running a light that I (Vanessa, Gretchen, Ron and Brent were in the car too) SWEAR didn't exist. And, there's the time I was pulled over with Gretchen for speeding. Gretchen wasn't in the car this time. I was just in a hurry to get home.
At any rate, both of those times were before it was legal for me to walk into a bar. So, let's just say it's been a while. So, when those lights flashed behind me, I thought for sure he was pulling someone else over. Because I'm a good girl. I don't do bad things. But as it turns out, when I do I get caught. Every. Time. Which is part of the reason why I don't do bad things.
I went through the papers that I gave the officer last night. There was a Nebraska Insurance card for Schmitty. I assume that was the temporary one we got until we got the California one, since we acquired the vehicle on a weekend. The California paper was right behind the Nebraska one. I guess he didn't really look through all of the papers I had. Then, I started wondering (like a fool) if maybe the "California Proof of Financial Responsibility" might not be proof of insurance. But it has to be. This state is just messed up, and has to call it "proof of financial responsibility" instead of "insurance card." Right?
The best part about the whole deal is that the ONE morning of the week that I have somewhere to be EVERY week is the morning I have to appear in traffic court. Of course! With my luck I'll also be sick as a dog that day.
So, does anyone know... Is there a way to send my proof of insurance in and pay the court fee ahead of time? How much is a traffic "court fee" exactly. Did I want the speeding ticket instead? Lots of questions today. And sadly, I'm not sure any of my readers, except maybe 2, live in California.
le sigh.
Oh well. I'm off to pick strawberries. Again. Because no one has rhubarb. Not having rhubarb is making it hard for me to make the fantabulous secret recipe pie that I crave so much and wanted to take to share with friends next week!
By the way. I hope you're having a better day than yesterday. Even if you thought yesterday was the best. day. ever.
hmmm. How long has it been since I've been pulled over. There was the time when I was with all my friends and I got pulled over for running a light that I (Vanessa, Gretchen, Ron and Brent were in the car too) SWEAR didn't exist. And, there's the time I was pulled over with Gretchen for speeding. Gretchen wasn't in the car this time. I was just in a hurry to get home.
At any rate, both of those times were before it was legal for me to walk into a bar. So, let's just say it's been a while. So, when those lights flashed behind me, I thought for sure he was pulling someone else over. Because I'm a good girl. I don't do bad things. But as it turns out, when I do I get caught. Every. Time. Which is part of the reason why I don't do bad things.
I went through the papers that I gave the officer last night. There was a Nebraska Insurance card for Schmitty. I assume that was the temporary one we got until we got the California one, since we acquired the vehicle on a weekend. The California paper was right behind the Nebraska one. I guess he didn't really look through all of the papers I had. Then, I started wondering (like a fool) if maybe the "California Proof of Financial Responsibility" might not be proof of insurance. But it has to be. This state is just messed up, and has to call it "proof of financial responsibility" instead of "insurance card." Right?
The best part about the whole deal is that the ONE morning of the week that I have somewhere to be EVERY week is the morning I have to appear in traffic court. Of course! With my luck I'll also be sick as a dog that day.
So, does anyone know... Is there a way to send my proof of insurance in and pay the court fee ahead of time? How much is a traffic "court fee" exactly. Did I want the speeding ticket instead? Lots of questions today. And sadly, I'm not sure any of my readers, except maybe 2, live in California.
le sigh.
Oh well. I'm off to pick strawberries. Again. Because no one has rhubarb. Not having rhubarb is making it hard for me to make the fantabulous secret recipe pie that I crave so much and wanted to take to share with friends next week!
By the way. I hope you're having a better day than yesterday. Even if you thought yesterday was the best. day. ever.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
On my way home...
It was a warm night, the sun was setting over the ocean as I drove down the Pacific Coast Highway, top down, wind blowing in my hair. The music was blaring, rocking out. I came home, my baby kissed me and went to bed. Then, I spent some quality time with the husband.
And that's a true story.
At least it would have been if the night had been warm and clear. It was cloudy, cold, and drizzly foggy night. I don't have a convertible, so I wasn't exactly driving with the top down, and since it was cold Schmitty's windows were all closed. The music wasn't exactly blaring either. And the fantasy ended when I saw a white motorcycle tailgating me. Only it wasn't just any motorcycle. It was the CHP. Yup. I was pulled over. I was going 70 something in a 65. Just like every other person on the road. But, it was foggy, so I probably should have been going the speed limit. And yeah, I admit, I do kinda look like some sort of drug pusher in my light blue minivan. You never know.
No, I didn't get a speeding ticket. Instead I have to appear in court because I didn't have proper insurance paperwork. So, I guess that's better than the speeding ticket I was about to get. It's correctable, so I just have to prove that I had insurance at the time I was pulled over. That's a good thing right? So my little prayer about not getting a speeding ticket, that worked, right?
Oh, my.
And that's a true story.
At least it would have been if the night had been warm and clear. It was cloudy, cold, and drizzly foggy night. I don't have a convertible, so I wasn't exactly driving with the top down, and since it was cold Schmitty's windows were all closed. The music wasn't exactly blaring either. And the fantasy ended when I saw a white motorcycle tailgating me. Only it wasn't just any motorcycle. It was the CHP. Yup. I was pulled over. I was going 70 something in a 65. Just like every other person on the road. But, it was foggy, so I probably should have been going the speed limit. And yeah, I admit, I do kinda look like some sort of drug pusher in my light blue minivan. You never know.
No, I didn't get a speeding ticket. Instead I have to appear in court because I didn't have proper insurance paperwork. So, I guess that's better than the speeding ticket I was about to get. It's correctable, so I just have to prove that I had insurance at the time I was pulled over. That's a good thing right? So my little prayer about not getting a speeding ticket, that worked, right?
Oh, my.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Why I watch Channel 8 News
I love guys who have a dry sense of humor. But this anchor (Dan Green), he takes the cake. His sense of humor and quick wit, well, they are the reason why I watch Channel 8 News. You never know what he's going to say.Last night, he got lucky, though. We were busy shoving our faces with food, watching the news while he was narrating a news story about how California is going to do something to protect the ocean and beaches. The entire time he's reading the story there was some stock beach footage. When he was done with the footage he says... "And this would be the ocean." As if somehow there should have been a picture of a puppy on the screen while he had been talking about the news story, or perhaps we didn't know what the ocean was, even considering this is coastal California. As soon as Not the Momma and I heard that, we both nearly choked to death. I actually had to get up and leave the table I started laughing so hard.
I know, this is kind of like an inside joke. But the inflection that this guy uses, and his snarky remarks about some of the things that go on. They crack me up. I am going to try to watch more often, and keep a note of his comments. Because I feel the need to share this guy with the world. Everyone needs a smarty pants news anchor, and Channel 8 has one.
P.S. I'm sorry I missed PrompTuesday this week! But you should check it out!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Saturday's Random Moments
Me: Look at those toes! Mama needs a pedicure!
Not the Momma: Mama needs to get over it. Be like the women in the 1930's. HARD!CORE!
As we are leaving the donut shop, a guy in a car pulls up blasting What is Love. We both immediately start doing the "Night at the Roxbury" dance and head nod. When the guy parks, he doesn't just shut off his car, he continues to blast the song until it is finished, leaving all of the people in the parking lot giggling uncontrollably.
Not the Momma: Mama needs to get over it. Be like the women in the 1930's. HARD!CORE!
As we are leaving the donut shop, a guy in a car pulls up blasting What is Love. We both immediately start doing the "Night at the Roxbury" dance and head nod. When the guy parks, he doesn't just shut off his car, he continues to blast the song until it is finished, leaving all of the people in the parking lot giggling uncontrollably.
And a note to you -- We most certainly did NOT swear off Target. I was just saying that yeah, maybe I shouldn't go there.. Because then we leave with a skateboard for the Little Monster, a BIG bouncy ball, and the game Catch Phrase. Because that place rocks, and they have everything. You can always find something you didn't know you needed!
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