Thursday, April 01, 2010

Charisma and Chocolate Bunnies

Charisma. One of the definitions is "personal magnetism or charm" according to Little Monster normally exudes that kind of charisma, but today it was pouring out in buckets and leaving a mess all over the floor at the Commissary (that's the base grocery store for you non-military folks).

It all started in the car on the way to there. He asked about something related to Easter, and I took it as a teaching moment to tell him about why we celebrate it. I told him that Jesus died to save us and was buried behind a big rock in a mountain. Everyone was sad, but a few days later, he came back to life and (because he's super strong like super man) pushed the rock off. It made everyone happy to see him again. Now he's in heaven waiting for us all... Okay.. So, then I had to explain that Superman is not, in fact, Jesus -- or vice versa. I wasn't sure how much of it he picked up.

Until we got to the grocery store.

He saw the chocolate rabbits and wanted one. Daddy is on a diet, trying to prove that the military standards for people built like him aren't exactly correct about body fat, so I hadn't bought any chocolate rabbits for anyone. But, I caved today and got one for Little Monster. I picked one out and told him he could have it on Easter.

"After Jesus comes, on Easter Day?!"

Yes, I told him. So, he was very excited about the fact he was going to get his chocolate rabbit on Easter. Add to that, the fact that this particular commissary hasn't dished out the cash for any kind of child-friendly shopping carts we had back in California. Man, do I miss those. So, Butterball is in seat of the cart (I should be saying carriage since I'm in New England!), and Little Monster is supposed to be walking very near the cart, keeping his hand in contact with the metal cage at all times. Instead we walk past the fruit section and he yells out "I WANT ORANGES!" and runs over to try to grab one. I reminded him that we weren't there to get oranges, so he calmly came back and walked with me. Since he was so anxious to help pick out groceries, I let him be my helper. He was in charge of finding the items I needed on my list.

In theory it was a good idea.

In reality, it wasn't a terrible idea, it just meant that he really wanted to help. And everyone within a thirty foot radius of us was going to find out what we needed, what color it was and how many we needed. If they were lucky enough, they'd even get to have a discussion with him about whatever it was. And then there was the miraculous sudden cravings for things like pickles -- which he normally won't eat. Or lettuce. He wanted to buy everything he won't eat, claiming he liked it.

Then there was the employee who was guarding the hams. (I say this, because she was standing next to a grocery cart full of hams. Not stocking them, just hanging out with them.) She struck up conversation with Little Monster. Which was a mistake. He started talking to her about his chocolate bunny. And how he was going to eat it on Easter. And then he talked about his Daddy and Mommy and sister. Then the poor lady asked him who was coming on Easter -- expecting to get an answer about an Easter Bunny, she looked a little confused when Little Monster said VERY excitedly:

"Jesus is coming! And he saved huss (he can't say us without the H)! And he's Coming! On Easter Day Sunday! And I get to eat my chocolate bunny with the carrot on Easter day after jesuscomesbackandbutterballdidn'tgetachocolatebunnybecauseshesababy!

My husband is glad he wasn't along for that ride. He doesn't like a scene. And Little Monster was the scene in the store this morning. When people in the ham aisle heard him talking about Jesus, they all turned to listen to his story, smiling sweetly. We created quite a traffic jam in front of those Easter hams while he explained that he was getting to eat that chocolate bunny right after Jesus came back to life on "Easter Day."

In the checkout aisle, the clerk got the whole schpeal too -- only now he had Easter cookies. And onewasforbutterballanditwastheeggoneandtheduckoneisformeanditsbecauseitseasterandiwasgoodandjesusiscoming. And he wanted to give the bagger man his pennies to say thank you for his hard work. And he was determined to give the man his penny. He HAD to give the man the penny!

I swear the kid was oozing so much charisma, he was why they had to call for a clean up on aisle three. By the end of the trip, I was exhausted. And so was Butterball.

Do you think there's anything in the Easter story about how after Jesus comes on Easter Day, and chocolate bunnies are eaten that three year olds should take a nap? There should be.

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