Weaning. Complete.

Butterball, also known as Monkey, Peanut, and Baby-girl is completely weaned. It's happy and sad all at the same time. I'm glad that I'm not tied down to her. I can go away for the evening and leave her with a babysitter without worries about how she'll get back to sleep without me being around. The other day, she had a hard time getting down for nap, and it had only been a few days since her last nurse. I figured I could try to soothe her if she wanted to. She didn't. She just wanted to be cuddled by Daddy.

This time around weaning was a lot easier than with Little Monster. I got her onto a schedule where she was nursing when she woke up, before her morning and afternoon naps, and then before bed. After a few weeks I took away the first nurse of the day, and eventually took away the nursing before nap time. Those were sort of by accident, as quite often she'd been skipping them anyway as we ran errands during the day. After a couple of weeks when she'd only been nursed at night, I had Daddy help out. He rocked her to sleep with a glass of milk for a few days and it was done.

Just like last time, I miss it occasionally. Weaning just seems like the beginning of the end. She's no longer an infant. She's a toddler. She is pretty good at telling us what she wants, and eats everything she can get her hands on.

I do however enjoy the fact that my body is mine again. I don't need to worry about what I eat, drink, put on my skin. It's nice. Now the question is -- what's new in Bras? I'm afraid I've been wearing the same nursing bras for far too long, and I'm ready to be done with them too.

Um. This one's for you anonymous... How I weaned my kid.

Believe it or not, the number one search for this blog has to do with weaning. Apparently, back in August of 2007, I spent a lot of time pouring my heart out to the internets about the dillema. This post is my number one hit. I am by no means an expert, but I did get through it. And so will you. After all, I don't know any college kids that see their Mommy and rip up their shirt to get a little milk.

Anonymous -- A friendly hint.. I would happily update you with more information, but it's a lot easier if you leave a way for me to get in touch with you so that I can help. Because that's what I'm all about. Helping people.

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Wow. I spent the past few minutes going through old blog posts. I no longer feel guilty about the empty baby book. It's all right here. First steps, notations of first words, dancing, the whole bit. Even some mushy goodness.

And right along with all of that there were several times that I talked about nursing Little Monster. From when I didn't know if I nursing was going to work, the battlw between my laziness and independent sleep, controversy over where and when I should nurse, my personal dilemma about when I should wean, weaning itself, it's setbacks, the final, actual weaning and of course, the aftermath.

Weaning was slow and gradual for us. I started by not feeding him for the least necessary feeding -- the one he was least emotionally attached to. After a couple of days, he was used to not getting nursed at that time, so I moved on to another time. I believe I got rid of the nursing sessions in this order: middle of the night, mid-morning, mid-afternoon, first thing in the morning, mid-evening, lunchtime, and bedtime. As you introduce solids and foods, you're helping the weaning process. There were a couple of rough days when I was sore from being engorged. There were a couple of times when he whined and wanted to nurse, and I gave in. All in all it took about a month or two to wean him completely.

Oh, I also forgot. I broke the rules. I gave my baby whole milk. Because he refused to drink formula. He was fully weaned at about 11 months. I nursed him at bedtime for a lot longer than I took between phasing out the sessions. I gradually worked him off of that too. I'd nurse for 5 minutes, then 3 minutes, then 2 minutes, then no more. After I nursed him, I rocked him close and held him for a few minutes before putting him to bed.

So, if you're looking for help as to how to wean, hopefully this has helped you. If it hasn't, you can certainly google "how to wean" and get some assvice from experts.

And I'm sorry to those of you who thought you were going to get a break from talking about my breasts and their secretions. This should be the last one... For a while. A few months at least.

Questions Google thinks I can answer...

1. What Counts as Weaned?

If you are talking about nursing, weaning is when your child no longer drinks their milk from your breast. That does not, however, imply that months, even a year or more later your child will not suddenly pull down or lift up your shirt to show off the goods in front of everyone at the grocery store. It also does not imply that he will stop putting his hands between the 'ladies' while he comforts himself to sleep. After all, if weaning did imply those things, there are some grown men who would not be considered 'weaned.'

2. Signs your Baby is hungry?

It depends on the age of the baby. If you're having the same troubles my friend is having now, the fact that he is simply alive and breathing could be a sign that he is hungry. Another signs is crying. However, that could also mean the following things: Baby is dirty, Baby is tired, baby is over stimulated, baby wants to be held, clothing is pinching baby, the dog is looking at the baby, and the baby needs to be burped.

3. Smell of Mothballs and breastfeeding

I know, this isn't a question. But, um, yeah. If you are smelling that, it's time to change your shirt. You probably went to Grandma's house to dig through boxes for old baby toys and leaked a bit. Or, your husband sent you a box so saturated with moth balls that the entire tri-state stinks of cancer causing chemicals.

4. Why do I have to wait until my baby is 4 months old to wean him?

You don't. You do what's best for you and your baby. If you cannot stand the thought of nursing him, or you are not winning the difficult battle that can be nursing a child, you don't wait. You just do it. When it's right for you. Every mommy and every baby is different.


5. You Know you're married when...

You consider buying a fart blanket for the bedroom.

6. Are Mothballs bad for babies?

Um. Yes. Mothballs are just plain bad for everyone and everything. Even mice and bugs are smart enough to stay away from the toxic things. That's why they work.

6. Blow up gophers with propane?

Maybe. Just maybe. Let me know how that works out. If it weren't for the crazy amount of holes in the neighborhood, I'd totally try it too.. But I'm afraid I'd blow up the whole zip code.

7. Is it dangerous to let baby scream while driving?

You should be worried about the fact that the baby is driving. Babies are meant to scream, but generally they are too little to drive. How do they steer and reach the pedals at the same time?

Deflated

Since I’ve accomplished my mission of weaning the baby, something terrible has happened. I have been deflated. The part of me that was necessary for feeding the baby has disappeared. I wouldn’t care so much if it didn’t make the part of me necessary for carrying a fetus seem, well, so large all of a sudden. When I was a bit more *ahem* endowed, my stomach didn’t seem so out of proportion. I wasn’t thoroughly thrilled with the extra inches, but they were okay. After all, I have a beautiful toddler to show for them. However, that was in comparison to the larger version of me. I’m not quite so pleased with the new ratio of breast to stomach I have going on. In fact, I think I look a lot like this:

That isn’t so bad, until you realize that the person on the cover of this magazine is pregnant. I am not, nor do I plan to be pregnant again in the very near future. So it is a bit depressing that I could stand next to someone who is, and have people trying to guess who is further along. Once again I’m in limbo.. “Is she pregnant, or is she just carrying a few extra pounds?” I look just like I did about 20 months ago. Only this time, it won’t be cute if someone asks me when I’m due. I’m also not nearly as excited about my post-baby bump as I was about my pre-baby bump. I am carrying a few extra pounds.

I also realize that I am one of the last people that should complain about my weight, the way I look, etc. There are probably tons of people out there would like to look like I do, especially when you consider the amount of work I put into maintaining my girlish figure. The amount of work, I believe would be zero. Maybe it’s negative. I don’t know. When I looked up the definition for negative work my eyes glassed over and my brain shut off. Literally. I just had to jump start it with a peanut butter cup. It was a miniature, so the calories don’t count. Back to the topic. Why am I self conscious about my weight? I don’t know. Let’s think about the whole debacle with Britney Spears at the whatever awards. People said she looked fat. When I watched the replays (over and over and over and over and over and over again), I kept thinking to myself: 1) that girl can dance better than I can all hopped up on drugs and 2) she is NOT fat! (leave her alone! Ha ha ha).

There is something wrong with me. No, there is something wrong with our society. It used to be that a girl with just a bit of meat was considered healthy, and desirable. Because, after all, who wants to date a sack of skin and bones? A girl who is healthy is more likely to be fertile, etc. (same argument as why breasts are “sexy.”) So, what I want to know is when did we lose that ideal? It hasn’t been that long. Marilyn Monroe was certainly no size 0! The models we see these days are bags of bones with some hair, glittery clothes and $3000 shoes. When did that become sexy?

So, I’m deflated and feeling a bit self conscious. If you meet me on the street and happen to ask me when I’m due, please expect a swift kick to the behind and a punch to the nose,. I might even let my baby pull your hair, rip off your glasses and pinch you until you bruise. He’s good at those things. Does all of this mean I’m going to go on a real diet? No. Am I going to start working out? (You mean carrying around an extra 25 squirming pounds most of the day isn’t exercise?) Probably not. I’d better just get used to my inflated belly and my deflated chest.

Mission Accomplished.

The baby is 100% weaned. While I was relieved at first to be done with that part of motherhood, I am starting to be a bit sad about it. Last night I cleaned the RV while my mom babysat. There were no interruptions with "Mary, I'm sorry.. I tried everything else.. Could he want to nurse?" Someone else could handle everything. It is very nice to know that I could enjoy an evening out without worries that he's here at home screaming and fussing because he can't have his favorite bedtime snack. The thing I miss the most about nursing? Several times per day I was guaranteed that the baby would let me hold him, kiss him and just stare at him. He would latch on, his eyes would roll back in his head as if to say "Oh man, that is the best milk EVER!" Then he would tug on his hair (or mine) until he fell asleep. Every once in a while he would get a big smile on his face. He loved the boob. For a few days bedtime was terrible. Squirming, whining, then tears. He didn't want to be rocked unless it came along with a snack. Now, we're set. We say our prayers, Squeeze the "Daddy Bear" to find out who loves us, turn on the lullaby CD, and I rock him for two lullabies. Then, he goes to sleep on his own in his bed. He sleeps through the night. Around 7:30 he wakes up and cries a bit to let me know he's awake.

New things:

• He says "getchoo getchoo getchoo" and hides behind furniture when he wants one of us to get him and tickle him.
• He grabs his blanket and his bear when he gets up in the morning and brings them with him.
• If he's tired, he'll bring you his bear/blanket as if to say "take me to bed."
• He "clears" his tray when he's done eating using a sign I taught him.
• He knows generally where his milk is and how to ask for it. (screams at the door to the kitchen).
• Steals things off of store shelves. (not really steal, but removes and deposits on the floor.)

Things he no longer does:

• Cries for hours at bedtime
• Blows raspberry's after he sneezes
• He no longer walks. He runs.
• Allows me to leave his shoes on. He pulls the velcro off in the car.
• He no longer is tricked by having something hidden from him

I guess, he is generally growing up. Even though we're still a few weeks off from his first birthday, it's a bit depressing. His birthday party is this weekend (we're out of the country closer to his birthday), and I don't know that I'm really looking forward to it. I'm not ready for this mileston. I'm not ready to be able to feed my baby whole milk, peanut products, and allow him to just walk around. But then, life isn't about being ready for those things, because when you're a mom, you never are. Life is about living through those things, cherishing them and moving on. ::sigh::

Night.. Four?

The baby is doing much better with this whole weaning bit than I am. He has started to ask a bit for a little suck, but I'm holding strong... for now.. Until the two massive rock-hard water balloons feel like they're going to burst. Then I really want to oblige him. But that wouldn't be fair to him.. So, no. No more. We're done. Now, would someone please tell my mammary glands? They didn't get the memo.

Completely Weaned... Night two.

The baby is done with the boob. I can't go back. Night two of being completely weaned has gone well so far! I have to say that even though I didn't get to 365 days, I feel that I nursed as long as I could. The monster has 8 teeth, with 2 molars currently erupting. He eats like a pig. Nursing wasn't about food anymore. It was about comfort. I was his pacifier. Not anymore. After one terrible night of camping with little sleep and ending up with blisters instead of nibs, I was d.o.n.e. Done.

So, we'll see. Wish me luck. I pray i don't have to put up with the 20 minutes of cry it out every night until he's 20.

Do I Offend you?

[image removed] So I found out that I could be arrested for breastfeeding in public. I do it all the time now. I am one of those people that if you tell me I can't do something and I think that whatever I am being told not to do is stupid, I will probably do it... I agree it should be done discreetly, but I am not going to starve my baby to make YOU happy... Iam just WAITING for the day someone comes up to me in a restaurant and says something about how they are trying to eat and my breastfeeding is annoying them.. I'll just go off.. But anyways.. That isn't why I started this entry. I remembered something that was very funny, yet very wrong at the same time. He likes the Victorias Secret Catalog. Yes. My mom was thumbing through it one day and he kept trying to grab for the boobies.. Nice. I have turned my son into a boobie maniac.

FINALLY!!!

We finally have figured out what the little monster's schedule is.. Or at least something close to it. And it only took us EXACTLY three months. whew! I know he will change it tomorrow now that I am telling everyone. He likes to sleep until 8 or 9, naps around 11-12 and again around 4-5, each for about an hour (two if I'm lucky!) He wants to go to bed around 9-10. WHOO HOO!! Now I know when I can plan things!! Also, now that he is getting enough sleep and his naps are more regular, he is a MUCH happier baby.. Well, I am blaming it on that, but it could be his new favorite toy. :)

I need to take a picture of him today. He is officially 3 months. 1/4 of a year. 1/3 of a pregnancy. Life goes by quickly!

The Milk Wizard

Okay, so it was really a lactation consultant.. But she was a miracle worker!! I was so ready to give up on the whole breastfeeding thing, which was completely depressing to me.. My entire life was consumed with pump, feed the baby, sleep or eat or do laundry. Start over... The pump/feedings took an hour, then there is an hour off...

I went to see her today, and she really helped me teach him that there was something yummy to be found.. So far today, I've only had to give him 1 oz by bottle, and that was only to settle him down because he was hysterical from being so hungry... Everything else has been all me.. So when I pumped this time, it was because I WANTED to so I can build up a supply for my hubby so he can feed the litte tyke when he gets home.. It will help with the whole bonding thing... But it is really nice, because I feel more free than I did before.. I feed the baby when he is hungry, and that's it... It may still take an hour sometimes if we are having issues, but it is a heck of a lot more relaxing to feed him that way than to listen to the droll of the pump for 20 to 30 minutes every two hours!

Announcing...

I finally had my baby!!! And had blogger been working last night, I would have posted this then.. I have been meaning to post for quite some time, but as things go with a new baby, I have been pretty busy. This post will probably be quite long to compensate.

So, Sunday morning I went into labor... for real. I was having some contractions that weren't exactly comfortable.. I took a nap and around 4:00, I woke up to one that was really uncomfortable.. By 6:00 or so, they were 5 minutes apart. I called my midwife, and she said I sounded too "perky" to come in.. Which was fine.. I was having some back labor so I got into the shower and smashed my back into the shower wall while I leaned on the other one.. And that helped so well that at one point, I stopped smashing, thinking the contraction was over, and quickly realized it wasn't. I called back when they were 3 minutes apart, and the midwife was supposed to call me back... Well, she didn't for an hour.. At that point I started to panic a bit.. So I called back again, and she called me back while I was on hold with them... So... She told me to come in.. I was 7 cm dilated when I got there, so I didn't have much longer to go!! My water broke shortly after I got there, and that was exciting.. I was able to have a nearly entirely natural labor! I did fine until my SECOND water broke.. (yes, I had two!) then I the contractions got out of control. I had a shot of fentanol, and was good, well my mom said I got really funny at that point.. But I was fine. I started pushing at 3:00 and at 5:24 my little man arrived!!! He was 9 lb 10 oz and 21 3/4 inches long.. YES he was a BIG BIG Baby!! So many moms want to tell their pregnancy/delivery horror stories, but mine was picture perfect! My mom and sister were there, Kelly taped and my mom coached me and rubbed my back. I also had my midwife there from the beginning (one of the wonderful things about having a midwife rather than a doctor). Besides that there was the nurse I had, and a student. It was literally one of the most empowering, spiritual and wonderful experiences of my life... It is amazing how much our bodies can go through and how quickly they can recover... It also made me wonder how anyone who has given birth can question the existance of God... I used prayer a lot during childbirth, and I have to tell you it worked.. Every time the contractions got too intense, I would pray, and I would get a little break... When it came time to pushing and I got tired, I would pray for a longer break between, and it came... I could talk about it forever. =o)
We came home on Halloween, they let me bring him home early, becasue I hated being in the hospital. The only condition was that he had to go get weighed at the Pediatrician's office the next day. When we got there we were told he was losing weight too fast.. (babies lose weight if they are breastfed because milk doesn't come in right away).. They had us start supplementing with formula. And that has been the beginning of a huge mess.. After being told he was going to be put in the hospital if he didn't start gaining weight, I freaked out.. So formula came first, and I came second.. My milk came in finally, but now he is having trouble latching on because of the formula stuff.. He is getting breastmilk in a bottle, and I have a meeting with a lactation consultant tomorrow to see what we can do... He just SCREAMS bloody murder nearly every time he sees one of my "girls" and pushes it away.. Now, I know he is only a few days old, but it is still a little traumatic for me.. We'll get through it though, I just have to keep the positive attitude I've had the whole time.
All in all, though he is my perfect little man.. He IS a man.. Demanding and hungry. I feel like all I do is pump and feed him.. but that's okay.. If you could meet him you would understand why I don't mind. Daddy is super excited to meet him and is greedy for pictures! He wants more pictures all the time.. I think I have already sent him close to 40, but that just isn't enough.. =o) But who can blame you when he is this darn cute???