Little Monster is a great big brother. The other day we were out and about, driving all over the county. The sun was shining into the back of the truck, right into Butterball's eyes. I turned around and found Little Monster adjusting the shade. I told him to stop playing with her seat:
Little Monster, stop messing with your sister's seat. You're going to wake her up.
No, mommy. I just fixing it. Da sun was in Butterballs eyes. She not happy.
Oh, okay. Little Monster, You're such a good big brother.
No, I dest batman.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Reverse PC translator.
"One person would take the project and run with it and the others would assist and provide input when required. I do believe that there could have been a better way to pick the final briefer other than the junior person; however they emphasized their managerial skills by empowering me with the brief. " -- NTM
Can anyone else translate this? I mean, when I do, it looks like someone typed out the paragraph below into some Dilbert Political Correct-ness translator.
"They were all jerks. They made me do all of the work, and then yelled at me when it wasn't what they expected, even though they didn't tell me what they wanted in the first place. Then, when it's finished, they'll either take the credit for my good work, or pass the buck on to me when it sucks. It was especially crappy of them to make me not only do the work, but present it. But then again, they outrank me and life's a B****. Until you're a Commander, then you can tell some unlucky Lieutenant do all of the s***work."
Disclaimer: The paragraph above is in no way what NTM actually thinks about the people he worked with. That was MY translation of the paragraph he wrote for a paper. He never once complained about anything about this particular class or this group. And trust me, if they actually had been jerks, he would have.
Can anyone else translate this? I mean, when I do, it looks like someone typed out the paragraph below into some Dilbert Political Correct-ness translator.
"They were all jerks. They made me do all of the work, and then yelled at me when it wasn't what they expected, even though they didn't tell me what they wanted in the first place. Then, when it's finished, they'll either take the credit for my good work, or pass the buck on to me when it sucks. It was especially crappy of them to make me not only do the work, but present it. But then again, they outrank me and life's a B****. Until you're a Commander, then you can tell some unlucky Lieutenant do all of the s***work."
Disclaimer: The paragraph above is in no way what NTM actually thinks about the people he worked with. That was MY translation of the paragraph he wrote for a paper. He never once complained about anything about this particular class or this group. And trust me, if they actually had been jerks, he would have.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Sleep is a wonderful thing...
After yesterday's bout of "WILL YOU PLEASE INHALE BETWEEN SENTENCES BECAUSE IT WILL GIVE ME 1/2 SECOND OF SILENCE" verbal dysentery by the Little Monster, we headed over the hill to where summer lives so that he could play with a friend.
Play he did. For four hours, that child and his friend ran. And ran. And ran. And wore capes. And yelled "da DAH!" while popping out from behind corners. They rolled cars on the ground and threw balls. They completely and totally trashed his little friend's room. I felt bad because we were there to bring meals to MY friend who recently had a baby. We did, but I feel like we made some more work for her. She said the hours of playtime were worth the clean-up. I hope she wasn't lying. (And I know she's reading!)
As for me, it was definitely worth it! I got out of the house, spent some time with friends, and Little Monster had a blast. It would have been worth it before we got home. Before Little Monster went to bed at 7PM without complaining. And slept for thirteen hours straight. Without sneaking into our room and making a bed on the floor with our bed pillows. I was surprised when I got up at 2AM and he wasn't up. And 3:30AM. And 5:00AM. And 6:30AM. And 7:30AM. And 8:00 AM when he finally came into our room, after 13 hours of sleep, I looked at my precious little cranky Butterball, who hadn't let me sleep much at all and wondered why she couldn't sleep like that.
Oh yeah, she's just a baby.
Play he did. For four hours, that child and his friend ran. And ran. And ran. And wore capes. And yelled "da DAH!" while popping out from behind corners. They rolled cars on the ground and threw balls. They completely and totally trashed his little friend's room. I felt bad because we were there to bring meals to MY friend who recently had a baby. We did, but I feel like we made some more work for her. She said the hours of playtime were worth the clean-up. I hope she wasn't lying. (And I know she's reading!)
As for me, it was definitely worth it! I got out of the house, spent some time with friends, and Little Monster had a blast. It would have been worth it before we got home. Before Little Monster went to bed at 7PM without complaining. And slept for thirteen hours straight. Without sneaking into our room and making a bed on the floor with our bed pillows. I was surprised when I got up at 2AM and he wasn't up. And 3:30AM. And 5:00AM. And 6:30AM. And 7:30AM. And 8:00 AM when he finally came into our room, after 13 hours of sleep, I looked at my precious little cranky Butterball, who hadn't let me sleep much at all and wondered why she couldn't sleep like that.
Oh yeah, she's just a baby.
Friday, September 18, 2009
GOOOOD Morning!
Are you aware that we have not set an alarm clock and actually been able to sleep in until it went off for over a year? Almost two? Little Monster gets up with -- and often before the sun. Every. Morning. Even on Saturday.
In the early days of the whole "no alarm clock needed" phase of our life, we'd wake to screams and cries. That morphed into "MOMMY!!! DADDY!!!!! OUT!!! WET ME OOOWWWWWT!!! Most recently we wake up because of doors slamming followed by demands to be taken to the bathroom.
This morning was no different, except that we had the rare occasion that we didn't have to BE anywhere bright and early. No one was coming over, chores were going to be skipped, and Daddy didn't need to be to work before the sun thought about getting up. So, we told Little Monster to just go to the bathroom. Daddy coached him into moving his stool and putting the seat on. I reminded him to "hold it down" so that the littlest fire hose didn't spray the entire bathroom. And we tried to go back to sleep.
Emphasis on "tried."
After Little Monster used the bathroom, it started. It was as if someone turned a switch on the back of his head and suddenly every little thought that came into that little boy's head came spilling out of his mouth. My mom used to tell me I had verbal dysentery. Who knew it was genetic?
Mom, the sun up? Yes, mom. The sun up. Get up mom. Mom, I tell you a story. A story, mom. A story about a Mommy. There was a mommy who went in a cave and she was in the water. It dark. And then Mommy fall down in water. And yell at daddy get hers swimsuit. And turn the wights on. And then Mommy fall down in da water. And da owange joker come and Daddy wide on owange motorcylce. And joker push mommy down in dark water in da cave. And it dark. And mommy well about hers swimming suit. The end. You like that story mommy? I tell you story about a cave and water and swimming. Daddy owange joker and he push you down and wide on owang motorcycle.
It went on like that for a while. So we got up and got dressed. And we went to drop Daddy off at work. I thought surely, the narrative would stop.
Mommy, the owange motorcycle. Look! I see joker house! It wight dere! Mommy, wacecars need headlights? No. da track is lit. ha ha ha dat funny! Mommy. I need mine skateboard. I pway wif it. wight now. NO, it is in a wittle bit. WE go to fwiends house aday mommy? Is it amorrow? YAY! it amorrow! We go to fwiends house! Mommy - this a timer. It beeping. See? Now it not beeping. Now it is. Now it not. Now it is. Now it not. What is dis mommy? What is dis den? Mommy, i need sit in yours lap. Mom, I want this open, me get this in there. Mom, thank you. Dat in da wiving woom. I want other one. Mom, this mine stuff. I want my softball me wooking for. Mom, a me hold this mom..... Mom what is this? It say "boop boop boop boop" (turns on game) What is this mom? See it boop boop boop. (shuts off game) What is this mom?
I was warned a long time ago by my mother that "someday I would have a child JUST LIKE ME." If this is what I was like, maybe I'll be lucky enough to have two.
In the early days of the whole "no alarm clock needed" phase of our life, we'd wake to screams and cries. That morphed into "MOMMY!!! DADDY!!!!! OUT!!! WET ME OOOWWWWWT!!! Most recently we wake up because of doors slamming followed by demands to be taken to the bathroom.
This morning was no different, except that we had the rare occasion that we didn't have to BE anywhere bright and early. No one was coming over, chores were going to be skipped, and Daddy didn't need to be to work before the sun thought about getting up. So, we told Little Monster to just go to the bathroom. Daddy coached him into moving his stool and putting the seat on. I reminded him to "hold it down" so that the littlest fire hose didn't spray the entire bathroom. And we tried to go back to sleep.
Emphasis on "tried."
After Little Monster used the bathroom, it started. It was as if someone turned a switch on the back of his head and suddenly every little thought that came into that little boy's head came spilling out of his mouth. My mom used to tell me I had verbal dysentery. Who knew it was genetic?
Mom, the sun up? Yes, mom. The sun up. Get up mom. Mom, I tell you a story. A story, mom. A story about a Mommy. There was a mommy who went in a cave and she was in the water. It dark. And then Mommy fall down in water. And yell at daddy get hers swimsuit. And turn the wights on. And then Mommy fall down in da water. And da owange joker come and Daddy wide on owange motorcylce. And joker push mommy down in dark water in da cave. And it dark. And mommy well about hers swimming suit. The end. You like that story mommy? I tell you story about a cave and water and swimming. Daddy owange joker and he push you down and wide on owang motorcycle.
It went on like that for a while. So we got up and got dressed. And we went to drop Daddy off at work. I thought surely, the narrative would stop.
Mommy, the owange motorcycle. Look! I see joker house! It wight dere! Mommy, wacecars need headlights? No. da track is lit. ha ha ha dat funny! Mommy. I need mine skateboard. I pway wif it. wight now. NO, it is in a wittle bit. WE go to fwiends house aday mommy? Is it amorrow? YAY! it amorrow! We go to fwiends house! Mommy - this a timer. It beeping. See? Now it not beeping. Now it is. Now it not. Now it is. Now it not. What is dis mommy? What is dis den? Mommy, i need sit in yours lap. Mom, I want this open, me get this in there. Mom, thank you. Dat in da wiving woom. I want other one. Mom, this mine stuff. I want my softball me wooking for. Mom, a me hold this mom..... Mom what is this? It say "boop boop boop boop" (turns on game) What is this mom? See it boop boop boop. (shuts off game) What is this mom?
I was warned a long time ago by my mother that "someday I would have a child JUST LIKE ME." If this is what I was like, maybe I'll be lucky enough to have two.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I'm FAMOUS on the INTERNETS!!
Okay, maybe not...
My neighborhood is small... and the photographer who took our most recent family photos is amazing. And people are now recognizing me from the photos she's taken.
This must be what Hugh Jackman feels like when he goes to ComiCon. (Did you know he gets naked in Wolverine: origins? Not bad naked, nice naked.)
Fun times, fun times.
My neighborhood is small... and the photographer who took our most recent family photos is amazing. And people are now recognizing me from the photos she's taken.
This must be what Hugh Jackman feels like when he goes to ComiCon. (Did you know he gets naked in Wolverine: origins? Not bad naked, nice naked.)
Fun times, fun times.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
