That "Thing"

I have body issues. What woman doesn't right? After I got pregnant with Butterball, they melted away. I realized that I'm insane to think I'm fat or overweight or whatever, but that doesn't mean that I'm comfortable all the time.

1. I slump. I slouch, I have TERRIBLE posture. My posture is so bad and has been for so long that it almost hurts to stand up straight. It feels unnatural. It's awful. I notice that when I do stand up straight, I look a million times better.

2. I have post-pregnancy belly. I'm that gal you see walking down the street where you wonder if I'm just entering my second trimester, or if I'm just carrying a few extra pounds. I'm just carrying a few extra pounds. In the front. Where those two giant (9 lb10 oz, and 9 lb 7 oz) babies were. I have this flap of skin and fat that hangs. You think you have muffin top? I am that muffin that spilled out of the cup and is dripping off of the pan -- at least in front.

These two things make it difficult for me to feel comfortable in clothing. I need to find jeans that don't ride up to my armpits (I prefer lower-rise jeans, they don't pinch when you bend). I would like to find shirts that don't make my milk makers look funny or my tummy look like it's still housing children, or showing off my crack. I like my shirts longer. I don't do anything that's expensive, because I'm the cheapest person out there when it comes to clothing. I like to be pretty low maintenance, (no dry-clean only), but the screen printed T-shirts are no longer working for me to wear out. I want to look put together, polished. As if I didn't try to look nice but succeeded anyway. And yes, I'm aware. I'm only three months post-baby, but I feel like it's been so much longer. I'm ready to look like me again. And I need to figure out a way of hiding my gut before I wean, so that when I do it doesn't stick out further than the bumps that live above it.

Suggestions? Places to shop? Brands of clothing? Please. Tell me. I want to hear it all.

Fancy Fixins!

After we left church yesterday, NTM suggested we go to lunch. Our conversation on the way home:

We didn't have to go out to eat at a sit-down place, NTM.

I know. But I thought maybe you'd want to go out.

You mean, you wanted their salad and breadsticks?

No, I thought maybe you deserved to go out to a fancy restaurant for lunch.

So, you took me to Olive Garden?



*NTM requires that I tell you all that there are "Fancy" restaurants for movie stars, and McDonald's out here -- no chains or middle-ground sit-downs that wouldn't be crazy busy. We had to go to a nearby city to get to the Olive Garden.

Bedtime Singalong?

Lately, Little Monster has enjoyed a few good songs before he goes to bed. There is one specific song he gets every night, one I've sung to him since before he was born. Normally, I do this by myself, but tonight Not the Momma decided to join in.

After prayer, Little Monster asked to sing the P-O-A-I-O song. (We have no idea what that is. He's just trying to spell, and everything comes out with P-O-A at the beginning.)

So, simultaneously, NTM and I start singing Gloria

NTM & I: Glooooo ooooooo ria. In excelsis Deo, Gloooooooooo oooooooo ria in excelsis deee eeee oooo.

LM: Ting nother song.

NTM & I: jesus loves me this I know..... the bible tells me so...

LM: Um, dat scary song!! Sing Robot song! Me want boo-bot song.

NTM & I: tomo arigato mr. roboto! (simultaneously without planning!)

LM: Dat too scary. woo sing jeesus song 'gain.

What was really scary about the whole ordeal is that NTM and I had not planned to sing any of the songs, but that we both sang the same songs at the same time with no pre-planning. Perhaps we've been together in the same house for too long. It must be almsot time for him to go back to his real job.

Bedtime delay tactics.

Mommy. Woo sing me a song 'bout a Bee.

"ABCDEFG"

No! Mommy, data a wetter song. Me want woo sing me a bee song.

"I don't know a bee song.

Mommy. sing me a bee song. It goes. bzzz

A bee goes bzz, a bee goes bzz, every buggy makes a sound the bee says bzz

Mommy sing me an ant song.

the ants go marching 1 by 1 hoorah, hoorah.... (continue to the first verse)...

Mommy sing me a tatterpidder song.

I don't know a caterpillar song. You sing me a caterpillar song.

No, Mommy. Onwy woo sing a tatterpidder song. dat too hard a me. Woo sing tatterpidder song. Me not sing it. Woo sing it. Dat a me talkin' 'bout. A tatterpidder. O- TAY? A One time.

Some crazy made-up 2 line caterpillar song. Good night, I love you.

ni-night mommy. I wuv woo. I det up when da sun up?

Yes baby, I'll see you when the sun comes up in the morning.

Otay. Woo weeve door open wight. No mommy. dat not wight.

I adjust the door. Good night sweetie. I'll see you in the morning.

Dat wight mommy. night-night.

At least it isn't Barney

My 2 year old has a favorite song.



Only he sings it:

"I do it mine self!"

The full song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-2X6jsHNVw