Top Ten Signs your child is hungry

10. He really wants the steaming bag of fudge from your walk with the dogs.

9. He's broken into the dog treats.

8. The Nerf football and basketball are being shredded as though they are food.

7. He steals a RAW zucchini and starts munching on it.


6. Your ears are bleeding from the high pitch screams he's emitting.

5. The cup of milk you needed for the pasta is no longer sitting on the counter. He has stolen it and is making short work of it.

4. He's climbed into his own high chair. By himself.

3. And put on his bib. By himself.

2. While sitting in his high chair and bib, he claps his hands together and says May-Men! over and over and over again.

1. He actually ate a meal that didn't contain any of the following: cheerios, cheese sticks, hot dogs fruit snacks, goldfish crackers, raisins or olives.

The Holiday Blahs

Ever since I moved away from our families, holidays have been kind of a let-down.

It all started with our first "married" Thanksgiving. I was very excited to cook my first Thanksgiving meal for my new husband. I spent days planning what I was going to make. Then, he came home sick from work on Wednesday. It wasn't your garden variety type of sick, either. The man had fluids escaping from every possible place fluids could escape from. I thought I was going to have to call him an ambulance. He was so sick that he could barely walk, and wouldn't have made it to the car. And, me carrying him? Well, that wasn't going to happen. So, our first thanksgiving was a bust. I made dinner on Saturday, but he was barely well enough to eat it, let alone enjoy it.

The holidays after that have been hit or miss. Christmas and Thanksgiving, we've either had family visit or have gone home every year, but the rest haven't been so memorable. Some holidays have been blown off completely. The others, we've tried to make a big to-do, but have always felt let-down by the end of the day. This Independence Day was no different.

We got up, and went to the grocery store because we were out of milk. Apparently, there was only one grocery store open withing 100 miles, because the entire Central Coast was there too. We spent $7 on a gallon of milk, because ALL of the other milk was raining from the cartons. We got sandwiches from Subway for lunch.

We then taught Little Monster how to throw pops and stomp on them to make them go. After nap time, the fog rolled in and the temperature dropped to about 55 degrees. We grilled hot dogs despite the cold weather and played outside, but something was still missing. Little Monster was in bed long before the fireworks. We were in our jammies watching Tivo'd re-runs of How I Met Your Mother when we heard them go off.

What a holiday, huh? I've always thought that when we had kids, the holidays would get better. We'd have a reason to do them up big. But, having a kid hasn't changed our holidays much at all. I think what is 'missing' is the fact that holidays were always big family affairs. Food and family, friends and games, and fun. So, the thing we're 'missing' here is the massive amounts of people. I think I'm going to start making holidays special. We will not do yard work or laundry. We will make a big deal out of them, and play and have fun. We will invite people over and have food and conversations. Because it isn't the DATE that makes the holiday memorable, it's what you do with it.

What do you do for holidays without family around? Do you blow them off, or do you do them up big anyway?

Noteworthy Conversations from our Vacation

Conversation 1:

Not the Momma overheard two men at Old Navy:
man1: How would I look in these? (holds up pants to himself)
man2: Honey, you'd look good in anything!

Our conversation following:
Me: Couldn't he just have been trying them on?
Not the Momma: No. Guys don't try things on. We pick it up, look at it for a second and buy it. If it doesn't fit when we get home, it becomes our newest rag.

Conversation 2:

On our way home from Nebraska:
Momma Mary: Little Monster, WHAT do you want!? Use your words! (frustrated to the point of breaking!)

Little Monster: Ma-Maw? Ba-Pa? (translation: Grandma, Grandpa?)

Momma Mary: sobs.

Conversation 3:

As we're watching the tail end of 2 mile long wall cloud that wreaked havoc in Omaha go right over us.

Momma Mary: Hmm, there's a storm coming. I KNOW! Let's go stand on top of the tallest hill and watch it go by!

Not the Momma: Would we do anything else? Let's take the baby.

Independence Day

Remember as you celebrate today that there are people working every day to maintain your right to "celebrate the birth of our country by blowing up a little chunk of it."

Happy Independence Day. Because it's the Fourth of July everywhere.

We're back. For Real.

We're back from a enjoyable vacation home to Nebraska.

Our tummies were satisfied with Runza goodness. I could probably write a novel on this trip, and all of the craziness that went on, but that might bore you. Well, maybe not. The people it would bore left when I didn't write for two weeks. I needed the break.

Craziness during our trip:

• Upon packing the trailer, we realized a mouse had decided to use my baggies as his new home. We had to sterilize the entire trailer. I still worried for the entire trip out that I was going to wake up and find Feivel looking at me.
• I-5. Did you know they are working on it? Did you know that even when you're going the speed limit a fifth wheel trailer and truck can go airborn? Neither did we. They can.
• Screaming. Screaming. Screaming. 4 days of screaming on the way to Nebraska.
• We didn't stop to eat (we ate food from our fridge) until we got to Nebraska and could get some Runza goodness.
• There were storms. OH were there storms! We stayed at the lake one weekend, and watched the wall cloud associated with this storm go right over us. We were spared, barely. It was a good thing, too, being as we were camping. In our trailer at the lake.
• All that Little Monster learned. It seemes like we got into the car, and the child's knowledge base tripled. He learned about trains (choo! choo!), deer, horses, cows and clouds.
• We spent a lot of quality time with family. I didn't visit any friends this trip, because I was planning on heading home for my 10 year high school reunion. That might not happen, because, well, the 5.00 gallon gas prices put a hurting on our pocket books. We're broke now. But it was worth it.
• We found a sonic blaster that sends sounds out to hopefully get rid of our little gopher friends. I'll keep you updated on the progress. Because you really want to know.

We had a great time, and life will return to normal shortly. It already kind of has. It's 11:30 and I've done nothing around the house. Even though it was clean when we left, it is trashed now. With all of our stuff from the trailer dumped into piles in places. I should probably go work on putting everything away. But first -- I think I need to go to Target and get a baby gift for my friend and her new little boy!